Oliver is struggling

chapter 6

It's wednesday evening and the Spring family is picking up Ollie. Tori is coming with so they can have 'the talk' about Ollie. 

~ Nick's POV ~

"are you ready buddy? i ask Oliver, but i already know what the answer will probably be. A shaky "n-no" leaves his mouth and before i can say anything Charlie comforts Ollie "it'll be okay, we can help you do the talking. Mom and dad will understand i promise." Ollie gives Charlie a hug and then wraps his arms around me, i hug him thightly in an attempt to calm him down.

"just please don't- please don't tell them about- about the urge i had- to- to cut- m-myself- please" Ollie begs us with tears starting to form in his eyes. I decide to be honest with him. It's best if everyone knows so we can all make sure it won't happen and help you if it does happen. But if you really don't want them to know that's your choice ofcourse and then we won't say anything." Ollie instintly looks relieved when i say this. "Just promise us that if you feel like that you will talk to me or Charlie, or call us." i add. "okay i-i promise" Oliver tells me. And i'm glad that he does. I give him another hug and then there's a knock at the door. They're here.

"remember to take deep breaths Ollie, it'll be okay" Charlie says to Ollie before opening the door. Oliver takes a deep breath while everyone comes inside and sits down in the living room. "so? what's going on?" Julio asks us and i can't quite see if he's worried or irritated? But i ignore it. "is everything okay?" Jane asks. "not really, but we'll let Ollie explain we're here to support him" i reply and when i do i look at Ollie and he turns his face from the floor to me with tears in his eyes ready to spill and he shakes his head no to me. "give me one second" i tell everyone while i pull Ollie into the kitchen. 

I kneel down to be face to face with him "hey buddy it's okay, you can do it!" i encourage him. He shakes his head no and searches around the room. He grabs a piece of paper and start writing and i already have a feeling what's about to come. 

"i can't do it, i can't say it out loud, i really can't. Can you guys please tell them? I am completely shut down."

I already had a feeling that he shut down. Oliver starts crying and sits down at the kitchen table and he starts shaking pretty bad. I feel bad that he feels so horrible like this. "come here, it's okay, i understand" i reassure him while hugging him. "we'll do it for you okay? If you want to add something you can always write it down instead of saying it, okay?" He nods his head while i'm still holding him in my arms telling him to take some deep breaths. We stay here together for a little bit, taking deep breaths and hugging. Then we decide to return to the living room. 

Charlie looks at me with a lot of panic written all over his face, he mouts to me 'everything okay?' and i mouth back 'shut down' hoping he understands what i meand but i can see he immediately understands so we start the talking about Oliver. 

We tell them everything about the bullying, anxiety, panic attacks, binge eating, negative thoughts, meltdown, all the changes, stopping school as an option, starting therapy as an option and as we promised Oliver we didn't tell them anything about the self harm. 

While we do the talking i'm secretly keeping an eye on Ollie to make sure he's okay and not too overwhelmed and stressed out, which he already is. He's shaking his leg and biting his nails and he doesn't say or respond to anything. 

When we finished telling them everything, Jane immediately turns to Oliver "Oliver can i give you a hug?" He nods and both Jane and Julio give him a hug and a kiss on the forehead. I'm glad they react calmly. "I think it's a good idea to start therapy and to give Oliver some time." Julio says and Jane adds to it "yes let's put him off school for a bit and try it again next school year, we can search new schoold in the mean time but we won't go to a new one if it's too stressful for Oliver."

Charlie nods "lets all keep an eye on him but also give him space and rest." he says. And i decide to add onto that "and he needs a lot of structure right now if the structure of school is going to be gone all of the sudden. So lets make it a routine, and not depart from that, to have him Sunday evening until Wednesday evening here and the other days he will be at yours." 

"I think that's a great plan" Julio says smiling. And then Tori jumps in to ask if Ollie is okay with these plans too. Oliver is still staring at the floor but he nods his head yes. I'm glad he's okay with it and i hope he feels a sense of relieved now that Jane, Julio and Tori know, almost, everything. "okay great, i'll keep an eye on him for sure, i love you Ollie" Tori says. 

Oliver turns his head to Tori with a smile and i know it's his way of saying i love you too when he's shut down and i think it's adorable. "It's getting late, lets head home now shall we?" Jane asks the rest and everyone nods and stands up ready to leave. "okay buddy we will see you on Sunday we love you" i say and Oliver runs in my arms for a hug. I whisper in his ear so no one else will hear "and you know it, if you need us just give us a call okay?" 

Oliver smiles at me and nods his head and he looks so relieved and grateful. I'm glad to see that. Then he runs to Charlie to hug him tightly too. "bye buddy, i love you. I'm proud of you, everything will be okay" he says to Ollie. I love how Charlie comforts his little brother. 

The Spring family leaves and i close the door and as soon as i do Charlie falls in my arms, hiding his face in my chest. "i feel so powerless i hate it" he sighs out. "yeah me too, i wish we could do more for him" i admit. I wrap my arms around Charlie not letting go. "But we have to remember that it's going to be okay, we made a good plan tonight" i reassure him while placing a kiss on the top of his head. "yeah we did, he's going to get professional help, that's good" Charlie smiles at me and looks a little less tense.

When Charlie lets go we go to the couch to cuddle up and watch a movie and then we both get a text: 

'Oliver:)'

9:27pm: Thank you for doing the talking tonight, i love you two so much and i miss you already. Thanks for making me feel loved and safe❤

I turn my head to look at Charlie and he looks at me, we both have tears in our eyes and the biggest smile on our faces. I know we're thinking the same thing. We love Ollie so much.