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song: daddy issues - the neighbourhood❀ ·˚ ༘ ∘

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song: daddy issues - the neighbourhood
❀ ·˚ ༘ ∘

PARENTS ARE ALWAYS someone you're meant to look up to. Someone you go to when something major happens. I always used to see parents as a child's bestfriend, rather more than just a caretaker.

As a young child, my parents were exactly that. My bestfriends. But as I grew older and Esmerelda was born, they grew more and more abusive towards me. And soon enough they were full-blown alcholics.

Constant drinking and constant bottles shattering all around me. I could never let Esmerelda step foot on those tiled-floors without worry a shard of glass might stab her.

Shouting and screaming is what I got used to. But I never let Esmerelda figure out what was really going on. I'd always take the blame for her whenever she'd mistakenly spill a glass of water over.

It's no wonder why I always flinch when someone raises their hands at me. To anyone who has ever asked why I flinch everytime they raised their hands at me, I wish I could believe you when you say you'd never hurt me. I wish I could believe that, but at this point it's just an instinct now. Engraved into my brain that someone will always be trying to hurt me.

Since then, I've never let my guard down again because I won't make the same mistake I had that night.

The night of Esmerelda's birthday, I celebrated with her as normal, just the two of us sitting around the dining table, eating the few cupcakes I managed to snag.

I had thought my parents were sleeping at the time. So I thought everything would be okay and went to bed. Only to be woken up by more shouts, and cries. Cries that belonged to Esme.

That night, I learned something though. I learned to never, ever underestimate someone. I couldn't get her cries out of my head and I could only blame myself for what happened.

Soon enough, my parents were gone. Died in a car accident when I turned seventeen. They were drunk driving no doubt.

I was given the responsibility to care for Esmerelda now and everyday I'm afraid I'll wake up and she'll be gone. She'll be gone and I'll know I messed up. I vowed to myself to never let anything happen to her.

And so far, things have been going just my way. I currently live in an apartment with Esmerelda with a great view, overlooking New York City. It's all I ever wanted as a kid and now I've finally achieved it.

I graduated college at just eighteen years old. Some may think impossible but I was a huge overachiever as a kid. I craved academic validation. My grades never dropped below a B- and I always sucked up to my teachers.

With hard work and a great mindset though, I got here.

"Athena, can you please stay home today?" Esmerelda came up from in front of me, tipping my book down that was held in my hand so I was able to see her face. "No, Esme. I can't today." I angled the book back up to start reading again but she only played the same move she had just done before.

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