His Innocence

28

song: i hate u i love u - gnash
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I COULDN'T STAND to be with him. Not when it was meant to be. Not when he was hurting and he had just confessed his love for me. I wanted to say it, but I couldn't. I couldn't and it was killing me. What's wrong with me?

I sobbed, day and night, Esme constantly comforting me.

My phone dinged, signaling a notification came through. I reluctantly looked, slightly disappointed to see it was Spade. I tried so hard to dig within me to find answers as to why I couldn't say it, why I ran out on him.

I couldn't bear seeing him in such agony knowing it was because of me. He killed for me, almost died for me. I don't deserve it. Any of it. And I hated I felt this way.

The text had instructed me to open the door, and I didn't want to but I did anyways.

A teddy bear. A white teddy bear holding a red heart in the middle with a note, rolled up and stuffed in. I picked it up, looking around as i sniffled to see who it was from. I opened it.

Dear, amor

I don't know what I did but I'll wait for you, always. Day and night. Even if it means having to wait an eternity, then so be it.

That's all it read, and I knew it was from Gray. More tears, spilling out. I had always cried over just words, whether if he from books or pure affection.

A man with a way of his words always has a way to my heart. Ex; Gray.

I read it over and over, filling my heart with more melancholy. I don't know why I was sad, don't know why I felt so cared for though all at the same time.

The next day came by, a new letter.

Dear, amor

Tell Esme happy birthday for me, will you? I hope this makes up for being late.

It was attached to mounds and mounds of presents to which I gifted them to her, her heart filled with happiness. She smiled and played with all her new toys, ripping the packaging.

A new day, new letter, new gift.

Dear, amor

I went to the treehouse last night and looked at the stars. I thought of you the whole time. I hope you're sleeping well. If not, I'm sure Esme wouldn't mind if you rambled to her.

This is for you.

The letter was attached to a bouquet of glittery flowers with a pile of books that we planned to read together. Everyday I had new tears falling, I had thought I cried them all but this proves to be not true.

Dear, mi amor

I miss you everyday. I'd do anything just to see your face again, hear your voice.

Are you okay? Even if we're not anything, I'll always be here for you. No matter any circumstances.

I hope this helps.

Today, it was a a box that was filled with candy, a new stuffed animal, a new book and flowers.

Dear, amor

Your birthday's coming up. I wish I could celebrate with you.

I'm sorry for what I did. Please know I did it for the better.

I love you, my sweet girl.

Love,
Gray.

I love you, my sweet girl. She had read that line over and over, reveling in the new nickname. I love you too, my sweet boy. Love. Such a strong word and something I would have never though I'd get to experience. But here I am. All signs pointed that he did love me, but hearing him say it, or rather write it to me, meant something else. I love you too. But he doesn't know that.

It wasn't just his previous words from before, it was how hard her heart had shattered from him. She was still trying to recover and mend from that. Him all of a sudden confessing his love for her was all too fast, she needed time to process.

Her birthday was coming up soon, she wasn't sure what to do.

Dear, mi amor

Don't think you don't deserve love or happiness. Everyone does, no matter what they've done. You taught me that.

You taught me sympathy, and compassion. Never lose that, amor. That's what's so special about you. Among others.

I love you, so much.

A teddy, a book, bouquet of flowers. But this time, as she opened the book, she saw notes, and tabs. He annotated it for her. The book they had read together once.

Dear, mi amor

My heart aches every time my eyes open and I see you're not here with me.

My father once asked me, what do I have to live for if not the business? I didn't know my answer at the time but if he asked me again, I'd say you.

All I have is for you, stored and shut for safe keeping until you come back to me. Someday, I hope it'll happen.

I promise you that I'll always love you, and I'll always keep waiting. Even if it means until the stars explode. I'm sorry I broke our previous ones but I can assure I won't break this one.

You're my everything, pretty girl.

Love,
Gray.

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short chapter, sorry!! its because this chap kinda js revolves around his letters💓💓

how do you guys like it so far!!