Moonlight || johnnyboy||

Chapter 4; dreams

"2:59-5:05"
Scott street; phoebe bridgers
(I thought the end of the song really fitted with this chapter)
!!TW: mention of abuse!!
||Johnnys POV||

"Lay down. Im gonna go get you some water and a blanket." Pony says reassuringly. He pushes the hair out of my eyes and to the side of my face. And almost immediately after, he wipes a somewhat dried tear off of my cheek too.

"Okay." I respond, my voice quiet and scratchier than it usually is. "It's freezing in here." I add, somewhat to myself but loud enough for Ponyboy to hear too. I know he does.

He grins and stands up. "Be right back." He adds. He ruffles my hair again. I smile at him weakly but i don't think he notices.

I watch as he steps out into the dark hallway, closing the door behind him quietly.

As soon as he walks out, i feel my eyes begin to water and my throat begins to tighten. I dont know why i feel like bawling.

I look back down at my hands again.

Why am i so upset? This happens like every week.

I take a quick breath. I realize i was holding my breath that whole time. Damn. I decide to lay down. I started getting goosebumps on my arms from the cold anyway.

I pull the covers over my shoulders to hopefully help warm myself up again.

Ponyboy helped keep me warm earlier.

I let the tears that felt trapped in my eyes go down my cheeks and down my neck.

I hear the water faucet in the kitchen turn on and off again after a few seconds. I quickly wipe away any tears still on my face.

I shut my eyes so that way when pony walks in, he wont notice anything.

I don't really know why i started crying. It takes a lot to make me even feel sad at all —except maybe when a dog dies in a movie—. I mean, I've been beaten so many times before, i don't know why this time was so different. Everything went the way it normally does. My dad gets drunk and angry at something stupid, get beat, run either to the lot and watch the stars, or go 'home' to the Curtis house and spend the night there. So why was this time so different for me?

Ponyboy. Ponyboys different, stupid. A voice said in the back of my brain, almost sarcastically.

My heart suddenly started pounding in my chest. Man, it was so loud. I swear, everyone in the house could hear it too.

As soon as my heart pounding in my ear somehow got louder, ponyboy walked in. And i didnt notice until he closed the door. It's hard to close that damn door without it creaking or making any loud noises.

I open my eyes again and turn to face Pony. He was holding a full glass of water — that looked like it might spill at any second — and a blanket over his shoulder.

Thank god it's dark in here.

My eyes always get bloodshot after i cry, which makes it harder to hide it from anyone.

He paused for a moment before walking towards the nightstand beside me and placing down the glass of water.

Some of it spilled over and onto some scraps of paper I assumed sodapop had forgotten to throw away. I dont think ponyboy noticed.