Submerge

T I E D

Flashback

The night was still, the quiet of the house a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within me. It had been weeks since Emma's death, and each day felt heavier than the last. Our home, once filled with laughter and warmth, now echoed with the silence of our loss.

I had been trying to keep it together, for the sake of our parents and especially for Mason. He had retreated into himself, a shell of the vibrant, confident brother I once knew. His pain was palpable, a constant presence.

in the house, yet he kept it locked away, refusing to talk about it or seek help.

That night, something nudged me awake, a sense of unease that I couldn't shake off. The house was dark, everyone supposedly asleep, but my instincts told me something was wrong. I lay in bed for a moment, listening, before I decided to check on Mason.

I quietly made my way to his room, the floorboards creaking softly under my feet. The door to his room was ajar, a sliver of light cutting through the darkness. I pushed it open gently, expecting to find him asleep.

The sight that greeted me stopped me in my tracks. Mason was sitting on the floor, his back against the bed, a small, sharp object glinting in his hand. There was blood, not a lot, but enough to send a wave of panic through me.

"Mason!" I gasped, rushing to his side. He looked up at me, his eyes wide with shock and something else – shame, fear, pain.

"Nate, I..." His voice trailed off, unable to find the words.

I gently took the object from his hand, my heart pounding with a mix of fear and desperation. "Mason, what are you doing?" My voice was a mix of a whisper and a plea.

He didn't answer, just stared at the floor, his body trembling. I could see now that the cuts were shallow.

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a hug, his body rigid at first, then slowly melting into the embrace. We sat there on the floor, the weight of our shared grief a tangible thing between us.

"Why, Mason? Why would you do this?" My voice was choked with emotion, the fear of losing him too, unbearable.

His voice was barely audible, a whisper lost in a sea of pain. "I can't feel anything, Nate... I can't feel anything but this."

His admission was a knife to my heart. I had been so caught up in my grief, trying to be strong for everyone, that I hadn't seen the depth of Mason's despair.

"Hey, look at me, Mason," I urged, "I can't lose you both don't do this to me please."

Mason's eyes, filled with pain and a profound sadness, finally focused on Nathan. Tears started to well up, spilling over and running down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry " Mason choked out between sobs.

--

The evening had settled into a comfortable quietness in our apartment. Liam was sprawled on the couch, flipping through a magazine, while I sat at the dining table, my laptop open but forgotten. The events of the past few weeks weighed heavily on me, and living with the constant worry for Mason added layers to my already complicated thoughts.

"Nate, you've been staring at that screen for an hour now. What's up?" Liam's voice broke through my reverie, tinged with concern.

I sighed, closing the laptop and running a hand through my hair. "It's just... everything, Liam. Mason, school, life. It feels like I'm juggling grenades, and they're all about to go off."

Liam set his magazine aside and sat up, his expression serious. "Talk to me, Nate. What's going on in that head of yours?"

I leaned back in my chair, my gaze drifting. "Mason's not doing well. I know he's trying, but I can see he's struggling. And I feel so powerless, Liam. I'm supposed to be the big brother, the one who fixes things, but this... I don't know how to fix this."

Liam moved to sit beside me, his presence a comforting warmth. "Nathan, you're doing everything you can. You've been incredible through all this. But you can't carry all this weight on your own."

I shook my head, feeling a mix of frustration and exhaustion. "I have to, Liam. If I don't, who will? Our parents are barely holding it together. Mason's my responsibility."

"Nate, listen to yourself. You're taking on too much. You need to take care of yourself too," Liam insisted, his tone gentle but firm.

I let out a humorless laugh. "And how do I do that, Liam? How do I take a break from all this? Mason needs me. I can't just step back."

Liam reached over, taking my hand in his. "I know, I know. But you're no good to Mason or anyone else if you burn out. You need to find a balance, Nate. You're allowed to have a life too, you know."

"A life?" The concept seemed foreign, almost laughable in the current situation. "My life is making sure Mason gets through each day without falling apart. My life is making sure we don't lose him like we lost Emma."

Liam squeezed my hand, his eyes holding mine. "I know how much you love Mason, and I know you're scared. But you can't do this alone. Let me help, let your friends help. You don't have to be the only one holding everything together."

His words were a balm, soothing yet highlighting the truth I had been trying to ignore. I was tired, so tired of trying to be strong all the time.

"You're right," I admitted, feeling a weight lift off my chest just by acknowledging it. "I just... I don't know how to let go, Liam. I'm so used to being the one in control."

"That's the thing, Nate. Sometimes, you have to let go a little to keep moving forward. We'll figure this out together,

okay? You, me, Mason... we're a team," Liam said, his voice steady and reassuring.

I nodded, feeling a glimmer of hope amidst the chaos. "Thanks, Liam. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Liam smiled, a warm, genuine smile that reached his eyes. "You'd probably be a mess," he joked, lightening the mood.

I chuckled, the sound feeling foreign but good. "Yeah, a total disaster."

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