𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 * . °•★

nine ⋆ ★

The two days Alana spent confined in the hospital bed seemed to merge into long hours of nothing. She sat waiting to be finally let out. It was a long process of safety checks and therapy talks before she was finally able to be signed out and retrieved from the four walls of the hospital. Lucy had come and signed her out, just had been planned and now Alana was finally able to go back to the home, a place where she could just do whatever and no one cared. Although the home never really felt like home, it was the place Alana had to call home.

Alana's pov:

"Alana for fucks sake get up, your going to be late, again!" Ethan said, pulling the covers off of me and onto the floor. "Fuck off. I don't want to go in." I groan, rolling over to face the teenage boy. "I don't care, get up! You've got 15 minutes." He said before storming off to continue getting ready. I rolled out of bed, slowly making my way to the closet and grabbing my uniform to change into.

It had been all of 2 weeks since I had been released from the hospital, the events that got me in there haunting me. Every second of every day I hated. The world seemed to be against me, all my motivation for anything being pulled from me, and no one seemed to see that. I am still so tired, tired of everything. Why am I even still here? Why am I putting in every bit of energy I have left in me into things to please others? 

Me and Taylor still had been messaging, however not through DMS as Taylor had decided before leaving the hospital to give me her number as she found it more convenient. Taylor made sure she checked in on me daily, my usual reply being 'I'm fine just tired'. Taylor knew I was tired, she knew I was struggling and made sure I knew that she loved me and cared. Both her and Ethan had been so ontop of trying to get me to recover but I just didn't see it happening for me anytime soon, if even at all. To be honest, I didn't see myself being around for much longer.

I put on my uniform, using everything in me not to burst into tears out of pure exhaustion and lack of motivation to live anymore. I made myself look half presentable, quickly doing some quick mascara, concealer and blush before taking two minutes to brush my teeth and rushing to the door, deliberately ignoring someone in the kitchen asking if I wanted breakfast. 

"Finally, perfect timing!" Ethan said, pulling the door open as James pulled up, rolling the window down to give us a wave. "Good morning people!" He shouts up to us, sounding more energetic than a normal person should at this time in the morning. I throw him a fake smile, "Good morning James." I say and jump into the back seat of the car, throwing my backpack onto the seat next to me. 

"What's with the face today Mrs?" He asked, looking at me through the mirror as we waited for Ethan to come down the driveway. "It's too early for shit. I can't be assed." I say, and he laughs. "You can do some music if you like!" He said to which I agree, begging that it would make something in me feel a slight bit better. 

I connected my phone up and scrolled through my playlist, still looking for a good song as we set off to school. "Hmm, what song from evermore?" I ask, looking through the album. "I vote willow or Dorothea!" James said, smiling as he looked at me through the mirror. "I taught you well!" I say proudly. "I vote willow!" Ethan chimed in, turning round from the front passenger seat. "Well too bad 'cause I vote Dorothea." I tell him, sticking my tongue out before clicking the song and it being blasted through the car radio.

The song debates carried on through the car ride, the three of us laughing the whole time. I really did need this. As everything started to feel better, we pulled into the parking lot of the dreaded building where I had to stay for the next 6 hours. The three of us walked together to the doors, getting through just on time as the bell rang for us all to head to form. "Have a good day Allie!" Ethan shouted as we parted down the corridor. I gave him a smile and a wave before turning the corner and went to dodging people in the overcrowded corridors.