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Ma'Kai remember when they first kissed vividly, not that they ever kissed after that, but she remembered.
They hadn't gone as far as sleeping together of course, they were very young teenagers, but it was as close as they had been to it at that time, so it was special to Ma'Kai that she shared it with Nasiah.
That probably when she first fully grasped that she was in love with her. Because she couldn't imagine doing that with someone else with such comfort.
She remembered. She remembered it as well as the day after.
You know how it goes, communicating or lack thereof.
Ma'Kai panicked. She didn't want it to be weird, and she said to forget about it, knowing she couldn't.
Ma'Kai also suggested that because she knew someone was interested in Nasiah and she didn't want to get in between that, since Nasiah showed what looked like interest, to Ma'Kai.
Looking back now, Ma'Kai realized she probably was overreacting and made a mistake by letting it seem like nothing.
That wasn't the reason they fell out though.
They stayed friends all the way up until nearing Nasiah's graduation.
The complications of Nasiah talking to someone and all of that. Jealousy, in which Ma'Kai didn't handle very well, caused Ma'Kai to distance away from Nasiah.
She rather that than talk about her feeling with Nasiah, which she still does now.
They never talked about their kiss again and Ma'Kai changed her number shortly after Nasiah left for a couple years at college, so that's how they wound up not talking for two years.
But now she's back and the feelings still feel fresh as ever.
Ma'Kai did feel guilty that she was thinking about Nasiah when she was in bed with Jai, but she couldn't stop if she tried, which she did.
Nasiah always managed to do that to her.
She had been up for maybe an hour, just thinking. Sometimes she did that, since smoking in the morning to ease her mind didn't sound hygienic to her as well as trying to cut back on smoking, she laid in her bed in the mornings.
