Nightmares (FioLee)

Chapter Seven

Fionna walked through the forest apprehensively, keeping an eye out. Suddenly, a dark-haired vampire in red flannel jumped down in front of her. "Fionna..." He said softly, reaching for her. 
She recoiled. "Marshall...? No, not Marshall." 

He frowned. "I am called Lee. And I will treasure you more than that sentient manifestation of dirt ever will!" 
"I... look, Marshall and I are just friends." Fionna protested. 
"Oh, good. Then you won't be as sad when I inevitably force him out of your life." 

"Uh... that is the creepiest thing that I have ever heard." 
"Hmm... is it now?" 
"Yeah, it really is. You're extremely creepy." 
"Alright. I'll change that. I'll do anything for you." 

"You are still being very creepy." Fionna backed away a little, and Lee followed her. "I need you, Fionna. I lost you once... now you'll never leave my side again." 
Fionna drew her sword. "Okay, you are super creepy. This sword is covered in a poison that Jenna Callaghan said really works on Marshall, which should work on you." 
"You... want to kill me?" 

"No. Olivia said that would totally mess up your universe and maybe ours. It's going to paralyze you instantly." Fionna answered. 
Lee looked thoughtful. "You're so resourceful. It's one of my favorite qualities about you." 
"Uh... Jenna made the poison, not me, and you're still creepy." 

"Of course. But just see... I'm perfect for you in every way. We are soulmates." He reached for her face, and she recoiled, swinging her sword up at him and cutting his hand. 
Lee stared at her. "You cut me." 
"You should be unconscious." 
"In a minuuuuuu--" Lee fell back. 

Fionna smiled, relieved. She sheathed her sword again, and took a bit of rope out of her backpack before tying him up. She then started dragging him back up to the Lich's lair. 

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"Hey, Eldridge." Marshall called. 
Dorian turned. "Yes, Abadeer?" 
"I want to talk to you." 
"Interesting. Is this about your crush on the human girl? Because I can help you." 

"Like you helped the creepy guy?" Marshall snorted. 
"He didn't sign, so I didn't help. And quite frankly, I can practically smell your desperation." Dorian took a deep breath. "It smells like apples and peasantry and sadness." 
"You can't smell sadness, you can't smell desperation and I happen to be a king." 
"You still smell like a peasant. And you smell like desperation because you know your little human friend will never ever love you back. Isn't that sad?" Dorian fake pouted, and Marshall glared at him. 

"I don't care about that. I just want her to be happy." 
"Wow. Give the boy a medal. 'I just want her to be happy'. What if that's with Lee?" Dorian asked. 
"It's not going to come to that. If it does, then... I don't care." 
"Wow... hmm... you're basically useless. I want a dhampyr, and if you refuse to help me, your little human girlfriend will end up in the arms of a vampire who will." 

"You're disgusting." Marshall growled. 
"And? Abadeer, I'm offering you help here." 
"In exchange for a child and for Fi's head to be messed with! As if I would ever leave my kid behind like that. As if I would ever mess with Fi's head like that just for my own benefit. If she doesn't want me, fine. But I hope at least we can still be friends, because she is the best person that I've ever met, and I love her so much, and her smile..." 

"God, you're corny and unhelpful. What, next you're going to say that her eyes are like the ocean?" Dorian snorted. 
"No. No, she wouldn't like that. They're-they're like... cornflowers. Or sapphires that glimmer in the firelight of the dungeon after she's defeated all the monsters and gotten the treasure." 
"That is... weirdly specific." 
"Yeah. Yeah..." 

"Are you... are you always like this?" Dorian asked. 
"I guess." 
"Do you think... do you think you feel the same way, in my world?" 
"Probably. Fi means the world to me here, I don't see why she wouldn't anywhere else." 
"Alright, then I'm going back to my world and exploiting the you there, because clearly you're useless and I don't want to rip apart the universe over you being a nuisance. Come along, Abadeer." 
"I... okay..." 

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Olivia jumped high into the air, dodging the green fire that was shot at her. The Ice Queen threw up a shield before throwing ice at the first Lich, pinning her to the wall by her wrists. 
"How dare--" The Lich began, before Olivia jumped up and grabbed her hat. "Yeah! We did it!" 

"Excellent. Please return me to my bar." Jenna said from the doorway. A very unconscious crazy Lich and Tobias were sprawled on the floor, and Fionna was dragging Lee over the threshold. "Hey, you got your hat back." 
"Your son is the product of a womanizer who dresses like Legolas and is a terrible liar who you believe!" The first Lich hissed. 
"Yeah, but I don't live in a cave by myself." Olivia replied. "So, objectively, I am winning here. You can be pinned to the wall and be miserable." 

"I honestly don't care about your nutty elf-man. I suggest you get the crazies back wherever they came from before they wake up and start ranting about vampire blood purity and killing people in masks." Jenna pointed out. "And then I suggest you disappear back down whatever rabbit hole you crawled out of, because am I the only person worried about the universe potentially collapsing on us?" 

Olivia blinked. "Well... yeah. I mean, I'm worried about the fact that this has nothing to do with the main plot, Fionna's worried because there was a massive creeper who thankfully didn't hurt her, Marshall's worried because his crazy uncle who needs to never ever speak again is here, and you... you're here because the Lich thought you were evil, and you turned out to just be very complicated." 

"...thank you?" Jenna asked. 

Olivia winked at her. "No problem."