You make me feel special

Chapter 5

Waking up in Aiden's arms is always the best experience for me. I always feel well rested. I don't wake up sweaty or in panic. But today we had to see why I had that weird feeling. To see what was in my room. Neither of us wanted to get up. But we did. We got Nick and Jason as well. Back up. I guess you could call it. I didn't know what to expect. And I didn't know why. We were out the front of my door. Jason had a bat in hand. He said it was just in case. I opened the door slightly, but I couldn't see anything. I opened it more and there it was. I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" I ask.

"Yep." They said.

"That's so weird." Nick said.

"How?" Jason asked.

There were no answers. But Jason did put his bat down. We all walked in, and the door closed on its own. In my room was the child version of myself. If they saw it. It had to be there. Unless we were all drugged and for some reason are seeing the same thing.

"You weren't here last night." Young Nova said.

"No, I wasn't." I said unsure how to answer her.

"You're different." She said.

"I know." I say.

"Why?" She asked.

"Because we had to change. We became a better person for it." I said.

"YOU'RE A LIAR!" She screamed.

Her scream consumed the room. My friends had to cover their ears. It was so loud. I didn't dare to move. I didn't know what to do.

"Nova." I say softly. "What has happened is in the past, all I can do is move forward."

"We were forced to change. We didn't get a choice!" She exclaimed. "If it's in the past then why does it still consume you."

"Yes, we were forced to change. It might still affect me Nova but that doesn't mean it controls my life." I say.

"What about the nightmares?" She asked.

"They are still here but I haven't had them for a while." I reply.

"Because you've been suppressing them, Nova." She said angrily.

"Why are you here?" I ask.

"Because of you." She said. "Because you aren't doing anything about those nightmares. I was summoned here by your demons for a reason."

My demons. Of course. But when? Why? How? I don't have any recollection of the events. I don't even know why this has happened.

"I'm not real." She stated. "Your demons created me because you were neglecting your nightmares. You created me."

"How?" I ask.

"You created me yesterday. Your demons summoned me. You didn't realise because you were with him." She said pointing to Aiden. "He was stopping you. That's why you don't remember. I'm here to help you. To understand."

"Aiden wasn't stopping me." I say. "I was."

"Your whole mind has been consumed and you're not doing anything about it. Why?" She asked.

"Because... it's new." I was struggling to find the words. "Listen Nova my mind isn't being consumed I can still think and act how I want to. In a way. The only time my mind is ever really consumed is when I lose control."

"Yes, that may be true, but you've been thinking more about him than anything else." She said.

How do I answer that without telling her about how I feel. I've learnt a lot about Aiden. Fear. That's right. I'm talking to the child version of myself. She fears soldiers like I did. The uncertainty.