opposites attract

fight or flight

i'm feeling a plethora of emotions.

i feel overwhelmed, anxious, insecure, triggered, happy and confused but most of all anxious.

my thoughts were getting louder by the second.

i miss my family.
why is elijah so nice to me?
does he have ulterior motives?
I'M GETTING ATTACHED!!!
I'VE OPENED UP AND TOLD HIM SO MANY THINGS IN A MATTER OF A FEW DAYS. 

"ameena you're starting to worry me. you look so distressed, what happened?" delilah sits in front of me, snapping her fingers in an attempt to bring me back. i blink a few times trying to get out of my head.

i became aware of my body and how choked up and tense i was.

i felt so heavy. heavy with the burden of feeling so much at once.

my blurry vision clears and my best friends green and worried eyes bring me back into reality.

i bring my knees to my chest, rest my head down on my arms and pathetically burst into tears. delilahs arms wrap around me immediately. "did he do something? or-"

"no! no...he didn't i-" i'm quick to say something before she started coming up with her own theories.

"okay take a deep breath. let's calm down together." her sweet voice brought more tears to my eyes. why do i have such a caring friend? why is she always here for me when i'm at my lowest?

i couldn't do anything other than cry.

the loneliness and sadness had completely consumed me the second he was gone. it was like the emptiness was waiting for me to be alone. to be vulnerable.

i felt my eyes starting to get raw and puffy. my nose became slightly blocked and my hands were sweaty.

i didn't know how long we sat on the floor for but i finally lifted my head and wiped my face. i couldn't face her, i'm too ashamed.

i was so caught up in my emotions that i didn't feel midnight rubbing her head against my leg. i pick her up and began to calm down as i held her.

"i'm sorry." i apologize.

"meena please," delilah dismisses my apology. "are you okay enough to tell me what happened? i'm thinking the worst here." she started to caress my shoulders. i nod feeling so stressed out. and for what? for nothing! but for everything.

"don't think the worst d. today was perfect, he's perfect." i finally speak.

"okay, tell me about it." my best friend is careful and cautious.

god i'm so unstable. i might actually have to go back on my meds.

i bite my lip, i bite my cheek and i bite my nails just thinking about the day.

"last night eli asked me what my hobbies were. i told him and today he planned the most amazing date. he took me ice skating and we went to a park to paint. we were talking and i asked him about his childhood, the question was returned and i told him about my childhood which ended up triggering me." i explain.