Survivor - TWD (Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 18 - Indifference

"Everything changes
I don't want mine to this time"

Serpents (Basement)

by Sharon Van Etten

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Nelly

As we pull into the gates of the prison, the familiar clang of metal behind us signals our return. Maggie and Rick are quick to close the gate, securing it behind us as we drive into the courtyard. The air feels heavy, like the calm before a storm, and I can't shake the uneasy feeling in my gut. We pile out of the car, grabbing our bags from the trunk, each of us taking one before slamming the door shut with a loud finality.

Rick steps forward, his eyes on Daryl. "Glad you're back," he says, patting Daryl on the shoulder. There's a forced casualness in his voice, but I catch the tension underneath. He gives Michonne a nod, his gaze flickering briefly to me, before shifting back to the group.

Tyreese approaches Rick, concern etched in his features. "Sasha okay?"

Rick nods, though his eyes dart to mine again, and I can sense something unspoken lingering between us. "She's hanging in there," he replies, his voice careful. "Hershel's in D block right now."

We all begin to head toward D block, our bags slung over our shoulders, the weight of exhaustion pulling at us. Just as I'm about to follow, Rick's voice cuts through the air, stopping me in my tracks.

"Nelly."

I freeze, my name sounding almost foreign coming from him. There's something in his tone that makes me wary. I glance at Michonne, and she stops as well, her eyes narrowing at Rick.

Wary of Rick's intent, I hand Michonne my bag. "I'll meet you inside," I whisper. She nods, her eyes lingering on Rick before she heads inside with Bob and Tyreese. Daryl hesitates, his eyes on me, but I give him a small nod, letting him know it's okay.

I walk over to Rick, waiting for him to speak, my nerves on edge. He looks at me, then down at his boots, his hand resting on the gun holstered at his hip.

"I want to go for a run," he starts, his voice uneasy, avoiding my gaze. "Since you guys are back with the meds and... since we lost the pigs... I want to look for food, things for crops."

He finally looks at me, and as soon as our eyes meet, I know. The tension in his voice, the way he's holding himself, the careful way he's choosing his words—it all makes sense now.

He knows what I did.

I try to keep my face neutral, not giving anything away. I nod, but the pit in my stomach grows heavier.

"We just got back," Daryl breaks the silence, stepping up behind me. His eyes flick between Rick and me, suspicion laced in his tone.

Rick falters, his composure cracking. "I—I know, but I wasn't going to go far. And Nelly knows the area," he says, trying to justify himself to Daryl. Then he looks at me again, something harder in his gaze. "Got to make sure I don't waste time in places you already went."

I nod again, this time more hesitant, unsure of what to expect. This wasn't what I was prepared for, not so soon after returning.

"Man, she can't settle in first?" Daryl questions, his voice edged with frustration. 

Rick looks back at Daryl, a flicker of surprise in his eyes. He opens his mouth, searching for an excuse, but nothing comes out.

"It's fine. I don't mind," I say, breaking the tension. Daryl looks down at me, concern softening his features. He squeezes my arm in a silent goodbye before heading inside, but not before casting one last look at Rick.