Chapter 47 - Swear

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Before...


I let out a long, tired sigh, rubbing my temples as I slump against the worn wood of the bar table. The laughter and chatter around me feel distant, muffled, like I'm on the outside looking in.

"Ugh, Luci, I don't know what's wrong with me," I mumble, elbows propped upon the table, taking a sip of my drink.

Lucille's warm smile is as steady as ever. "There's nothing wrong with you, Nell. You're human."

My fingers toy with the engagement ring on my hand, the cool metal heavy against my skin. "It's only been a week, and I'm already having doubts. This is supposed to be the part where I'm excited, right? That's what people say."

Lucille nods, sipping her water. "You love Matthew. You want to marry him, right?"

I bite my cheek, avoiding her eyes. "I... I'm scared, Luci. Feels like... once I say 'I do,' there's no turning back. Like I'm locking myself into something I can't escape from."

Her smile fades, and she reaches for my hand. "Marriage doesn't have to be a cage, honey. You should be excited, yes, but maybe... maybe that excitement just hasn't hit yet. Why do you feel trapped?"

My gaze drops to the ring, its gleam mocking. "I don't know. Just feels like... everything's wrong. Work, this," I mumble, a sigh slipping out. "But it's what I'm supposed to do, right? Isn't this the life I'm supposed to want? The life my mom would have wanted?"

Lucille's eyes soften with a spark of understanding. "But is it the life you want?"

Before I can answer, the door swings open, and I catch sight of Negan walking in, scanning the bar. I groan inwardly. "Oh, please tell me you didn't invite him."

Lucille's expression falters, guilty. "He's my husband—and your brother."

"Luci!" I hiss, trying to keep my voice low but unable to mask my irritation.

She shrugs, a bit sheepish. "He just wants to be there for you."

"By telling me everything I don't want to hear," I mutter, already bracing for the inevitable lecture.

Lucille squeezes my hand. "He means well, Nell. He cares. He's trying," Lucille says, voice firm.

"He can try harder," I mutter.

Before I can stew any longer, Negan strolls up to the table, nodding at the bartender before leaning down to kiss Lucille.

"Well, well, well," he says, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips as he sits. "What're we talking about?"

"Nothing you'd care about," I mutter, taking a long sip of my drink.

"Hey, baby," Lucille greets him, returning the kiss.

He raises an eyebrow, glancing at Lucille, who looks at him meaningfully. "Where's Matthew?" he asks, playing innocent.

"He's on a work trip. Phoenix." I answer, voice flat.

The bartender drops a fresh beer in front of Negan, and he takes a long sip, his gaze settling on me with that unreadable look he's perfected over the years.

"How's work?" he asks, a seemingly casual question, but the judgment is obvious.

I shoot him a look, feeling my pulse quicken. "Still as awful as ever. My boss is a sexist ass."

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