Survivor - TWD (Daryl Dixon)

Chapter 26 - What Happened and What's Going On

Nelly

After we bury Beth, we don't have time to stop and mourn. We keep moving because that's all we know how to do. Washington was supposed to be our destination, but now that we know Eugene lied—there's no cure. There was never any cure. He just made himself important enough so we'd protect him.

Now, with that hope gone, we have no direction, no plan. We all look at each other, lost. Rick's gaze drifts to his kids, and for the first time, I can see the uncertainty in his eyes. Washington was their beacon of hope, the thing keeping them moving. Losing that and Beth—the most innocent of us all—has drained everyone. I can feel it. I feel myself sinking, and I can see the others being pulled down with me.

"I don't want to end up like you."

"You've been out here too long."

Carl's words echo in my mind. Lamson's words too, circling like vultures.

We split up into three cars, driving for hours, not saying a word. When night falls, we set up camp like we've done a hundred times before, but it's different now. The silence is unbearable, only broken by Maggie's quiet sobs while Daryl disappears into the woods, always alone.

Daryl and I haven't spoken since it happened. He's taking Beth's death hard. I don't blame him. She was gone in the blink of an eye, right there with us, and then she wasn't. I want to say something, but I don't know how to comfort him. I don't even know how to sort out my feelings for him. It's overwhelming, so I do the only thing I know how to do: I stay busy. I scavenge, siphon gas, kill walkers.

I don't talk to him. He doesn't talk to me.

Morning comes, and Rick pulls us together. We're circling again, trying to find some sense of direction. Noah speaks up, mentioning a community outside Richmond, Virginia. It was where he and Beth were planning to go. His family was supposed to be there.

Rick leans against the car beside me, laying out the plan. "It has a wall, homes, about 20 people." His voice is steady, but I can hear the uncertainty creeping in. His eyes flicker to Maggie, sitting a few feet away near the fire. Her face is blotchy and swollen from crying, eyes red and exhausted.

"Beth wanted to go with him," Rick continues. "She wanted to help him get there. It's a long trip, but if it works out, it's the last long trip we'll have to make."

I shift uncomfortably, kicking at the dirt with my scuffed boots. The place is probably gone. 

Glenn voices my unspoken concern. "And what if it's not there anymore?"

Rick doesn't even hesitate. "Then we keep going."

"Then we find a new place," Michonne adds, her voice strong, like she's trying to convince herself as much as the rest of us.

It's over 500 miles, near Washington. The thought of returning there twists my gut, the weight of everything I lost in that city crashing down on me. Memories of people I loved and places that crumbled under chaos flicker through my mind like ghosts I can't shake. But what other choice do we have?

We've got no other direction, no home waiting for us anywhere else.

A part of me, the darkest part, wonders... if it comes down to it and we truly have no place left, maybe he will take us in. The very thought makes my skin crawl, but desperate people do desperate things. Maybe I could figure something out, find a way to keep us alive, if that's all we have left.

I glance up at the group, feeling the weight pressing down on all of us. We're like ships without sails, drifting with no direction, no safety net. The hope we once clung to has shattered, and the idea of Washington—going back to that cursed place—fills me with dread.