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~LOSING IT ALL ~


~* DALE'S  POV *~


05| WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

JASMINE. THE GENTLE SMELL teases at my senses, spreading layers of goosebumps across the delicate hairs on my forearm.

She raises her head, and stares up at me. Face so tenderly beautiful with hint of cheekbones. And those eyes, those entrancing eyes, large, a pale brown irises with flakes of green, set below brows that lowers in curiosity sends a tornado weaseling through me.

Hayley Parker. Hayley Parker. Her name tastes like fresh honeysuckle on my tongue.

She is standing right in front of me. Having haunted my dreams, she is fully here, timidly talking, oblivious of the effects her smooth voice wills on me.

My Adam's apple takes a dive in my throat as I swallow hard, reminiscing the events that followed after dinner, last night. The emotional and mental purgatory I had to endure, especially when I stay in the room adjoining hers. The scenario re-emerges in my mind and it takes every fiber in my body to compose myself.

Her darn moans. The soft cries of her ecstasy that kept ringing in my ears like a siren even after she had stopped and had been snoring afterwards. It just didn't seem to go away.

"I think I can be of help," she says, and I don't fail to notice the pink dust of color that stains her cheeks. Does she find me attractive. I can't help but wonder.

"I'm actually going for a run, I wouldn't mind if you tag along. I might actually be able to show you a few routes on the way."

Able to show me, my despicable mind snickers at me, making me feel so frustrated. Stop the lust, she's your friend's babe, Dale. Your fucking guy's babe, so, pull yourself together.

"That would be so nice." I simply say, gathering my wits about me to force a distressed, saccharine smile. Yes, keep your fucking distance from her. Besides, she's too good for the likes of you. You spoil everything you touch.

We silently jog our way through the nearly deserted lane, with its silence torn apart by the occasional fusillade of dog barks, and the muted raffles and buzz of train and vehicular traffic along the highway.

Cold wind whips above my shoulders, and my feet scrapes against the dead leaves and twigs that lies on the cobblestone pathway. Hayley is ahead, perhaps trying to avoid me, I wouldn't be surprised. I would avoid me if I was her.

Half-an-hour later, her pace slackens, and she suddenly flops down to the kerb, yanking her headphone off her head.

"You okay?' I ask, hastily reaching out to her with my brows pinching in both confusion and concern. And when she turns around, it all cottons on. From her wide glazed eyes, with a thin film of sweat covering her flustered face, to the rapid rise and fall of her chest, it's obvious that she is beaten.

I bite my bottom lip to restrain myself from derisively laughing at her. Instead, I stuff my hands into my track sleeves, not surprised that I'm neither out of breath, or sweating.

"When last did you engage yourself in any form of exercise?" I tentatively ask, towering over her small frame.

Her pretty eyes did not meet mine. They keep wandering to and fro, up and down as the wheels in her head turns. Now, with a look from the brightening sky, to the fitting glance at the ground, she mutters with uncertainty. "Well, it's been months, I figure."

"It shows." I say, watching her pull her legs up to her chest, curling up in embarrassment. Can you be a little less harsh?

"We're just going to take a breather, then we can probably go back. It's been miles." She says, wiping her face with the sleeve of her hoodie.

"Okay." I return simply, dropping down to the kerb beside her. Jasmine and sweat hits my nostrils again, and a knot tightens just below my abdomen.

She stretches out her long legs, and sighs heavily. My heart thrums, does she want to get away from me? I wonder, deflated.

"Jayden tells me you've both been together since fourth grade." She speaks after a while. And I'm grateful.

"Yes." I say, looking up at the towering trees across the single lane road. "I bet he'd tell you how he stuck up for me against the bullies back then."

"Oh really. You. Bullied?" I turn just in time to see her eyes widen in bafflement. For a bout of time, I'm completely enthralled with the hues.

Abruptly averting my gaze, I nod in agreement. "Racist shit." I say, swallowing back the waves of nostalgia. "My pop's black you see, and my mom's white. I've never really gotten away from racism even though my complexion's a bit light."

A stretch of lumpish silence dominates the cool air between us, until nature's breeze sweeps it away. "It must've been hard for you." She suddenly says, her voice, calm, too calm and sad.

I tilt my head to look at her, and my heart slams against my chest when I find her softly staring at me. Jesus Christ, don't! I wrestle with my inner demons. Her gaze is warm and lucid, and a gentle smile pulls at her supple lips. I stare at her lips a smidgen more, are they soft, what does she taste like, I bet she tastes better than how she smells.

Stupid fool. My brain jams me back to sanity, and a weird panicky feeling makes my throat tighten.

"We should probably head back now." I choke out, quickly pushing myself back on my feet.

"W-wait, what?" Hayley stutters, bracing her hands heavily on her knees to push herself up.

I curse internally, and then turn to her with a forced smile. "You said we should talk a breather before heading back." I improvise, quickly, "You're no longer out of breath, so, I assume you're fit for the run back to the house."

A faint frown touches her forehead, and before she can say a word, I wheel around and start to make small steps. What's wrong with me!


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