Paper Hearts | Winrina

A Year of Silence

Life has been oddly quiet lately. The birds chirping outside Karina's apartment didn't feel the same to Winter. It had now marked 100 days since Karina fell in this endless sleep, her skin was pale like the sheets that tucked her in.

"367 days, you can stop messing with me and wake up." She muttered, looking at the weak fog that filled up the oxygen mask. Maybe Winter had been going crazy but as the day went by it seemed like Karina breathed littler and littler. "You'll wake up, right?" She asked her lover who slept peacefully on the hospital bed.

Behind Winter was the doctor, watching the girl with an unexplainable expression. She stood there, letting the brunette burst out her feelings while she stayed silent.

Even now as the days went by it was getting harder for Winter to pretend, to only hold onto the faint hope; for Karina to somehow awake. How badly the brunette wish she could see Karina's beautiful eyes open once more, seeing her resting eyelids wasn't as delightful from before.

Had it been years since the last time Karina smiled at her? Was it a year—or two, or three? Or had it just been months? Incidentally, was it also just yesterday when they kissed? Because to her, it sure felt like it.

There used to be a time where Winter would count the days when Karina said I love you to her, it marked 200 days in total, 543 days if she counted their college days. But now all she could count was the days Karina laid in the hospital bed, unmoving. The days were so blurry to her. Days felt longer than they should, months go by like years. Winter started to pray to the heavens above even though she believed no such thing. All she hoped and wished for was to see the one who made a purpose in her life.

She promised to never mistreat Karina, always apologize for doing her wrong in any situation. If she woke up she could be the best girlfriend once again...if she wakes up?

Now marked the 368 day of Karina's coma, Winter slid open the hospital door, surprised to find none else in the room but Karina who laid on the bed as always. Usually Yunjin would be waiting for Winter's arrival but maybe she had been busy with something. Somehow being in a room with Karina alone just made her feel anxious, the only one who could speak was her.

Without a word she slid the door shut behind her, staring at the only other person in the room—calling her a person felt like this was a stranger she's never meant. It seemed like Karina had gotten thinner over the past year, her hair seemed to be lighter through the light.

It was the first time in a while Winter allowed herself to properly look at the woman in detail, she had never noticed how dead her lover really looked.

As she stepped closer, she noticed Karina's fingers skinner than they were when she held them on her first visit. The eye bags were visible like the girl hadn't gotten any sleep although that's the only thing she's been ever doing. Winter felt her stomach twist.

Karina looked too sick; too pale for her liking. Her cheeks had lost its fat, nearly showing her cheekbones. It was as if life was being continuously drained out of her through the countless tubes and wires attached to her body, when they should have been doing the opposite.

The only thing that seemed lively about Karina was the oxygen mask that the fog went up and down slowly. Also the heart monitor that beeped up every few seconds.

It was at that moment it finally hit her.

Karina was living on borrowed time.

Is live even the appropriate word to use when she's barely surviving? She was basically hanging on a thread, no wonder the girl seemed to be getting weaker by each day.

In this case wouldn't this be worse than death?

The realization crashed onto Winter like when Icarus flew down from the sun. Her thoughts went silent, looking down at the girl who laid in the bed, hoping for an eye flutter, a twitch, a small tear, shifting, a small move. But there had been nothing, nothing had happened. Faith had failed Winter, nothing in this universe wanted Karina and Winter to be together.

"I miss you," she weakly whispered as the first tear cascaded past her cheekbones, right onto Karina's index finger. "I miss you so much, my love." She pressed soft kisses onto the older's fingers, not noticing the stream of tears falling from her eyes.

"How much longer will I have to wait? How much longer will you pull this foolish prank on me? This is going to far don't you think..? How can I live any day longer in this universe if I don't have you next to my side, alive?"

There was nothing but silence. Although she didn't expect anything else, the woman couldn't magically wake up out of nowhere. But there was still a bit of hope in her mind, "Do you really want to spend the rest of your life here? I never expected you to be so boring." She tried to joke, knowing she wouldn't get any laughs out of her own words. At one point she wished if Karina could see her instead of hearing her, her voice seemed so miserable.

She had suddenly went silent, her eyes wandering on the weak woman's figure, holding her hand that felt too cold and thin.

...

How have you been feeling? Has the singular paper heart lost its color ever since you had been gone? How do you feel about leaving your girlfriend so suddenly, disappointing her for the second time? Karina Yu. You have failed to understand the true meaning of life in this universe, you couldn't even learn it after two years of recovery.

Now you will have to redeem yourself some other time just not in this lifetime. You'll get your chance sooner or later. Even if you upset the universe countless times everyone deserves some sort of chance.

...but will I ever see Winter again? I can't live in a different universe without her...

maybe some other time...

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AUTHORS NOTE: This chapter is a bit upside down, hope you still enjoyed it !