Lost love

Chapter 19

"Mer, I was thinking that for Christmas, you could come back to Seattle with me & stay with my family. I'll be going home for the holidays and I don't like the thought of you being here alone." Derek asked.

Meredith stared at him silently as the thoughts ran through her head. Seattle? She was never going back to Seattle. She hated Seattle. Why did Derek have to be from there also? Also staying with his family? She'd have to meet his family and she hated meeting families, she wasn't a family girl, families hated Meredith Grey. Not to mention his truck load of sisters who she would probably never get along with, they would probably hate her and then Derek would dump her and she'd be all alone again. She couldn't meet his family.

"Mer?" His voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Umm, I'm not sure Derek. I don't think so, I'll be good here." She stuttered, eyes wide.

"Why not? My family wanna meet you, they've heard so much about you and they just... they'll love you mer."

"I don't do families. Families are messy."

"It'll be fine I promise. You'll have a good time there."

"No Derek. I don't want to." She sighed flipping through her book.

"Why not? You haven't even given me a reason." Derek asked frustrated.

"I don't need to give you a reason, I just don't want to."

"Well you're gonna have to eventually Meredith. Just grow up." Derek raised his voice as he threw his study book in his bag.

"Grow up?!" She turned to him, her eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, grow up. We've been dating for 5 months and you're still refusing to meet my family, I know you're nervous but seriously Meredith grow up."

"You have no idea what you're talking about so either shut up and leave it or get out of my apartment."

"Fine." He said packing his stuff and getting up.

"Fine. You know where the door is." She bit.

"I had no idea you were so immature, do me a favour and after I've gone just consider how I feel in this situation."

She rolled her eyes in response.

Derek watched her and scoffed before walking hastily out of her bedroom, slamming the apartment door with frustration. In the 5 months they'd be dating, this was their first argument and it was over something that was supposed to be a good thing, he knew that maybe she'd need a little convincing before agreeing to go home to Seattle with him but he didn't expect her to blow it out of proportion like she had and in this moment he was rethinking everything about their relationship.

Meredith on the other hand was upset that he actually left, he knew nothing and he thought he knew everything. She had never got round to telling him about her childhood, about the abuse she experienced, about the abandonment from her parents, he didn't understand and it hurt her that he was being so inconsiderate to her feelings. He hadn't stop to consider her all whilst implying she was selfish and immature. Tears fell down her cheeks as she rested her head on the desk and cried over her book. Deep down she knew that Derek had a good family, she'd heard all about them but that didn't change her experience, and she was afraid that she was the problem, like she'd been told all her life. She didn't want his family to hate her and then have to relive the pain all again.

A couple hours later, she was woken up by Cristina and Izzie.

"Meredith!" Cristina shook her shoulder.

What?" Meredith mumbled, she had fallen asleep on her desk.

"We've been shouting you. Why are your eyes like balloons?"