Awful Awakening

Chapter 16

*Athena's pov*

I was with Mahogany since I don't want Matthew to know what the fans think of me. It was hard, people just passing right in front of me, giving me looks as usual, and a few even shoved me.  But at least a few actually were really nice. Some said that I was way more beautiful in person, even though i'm not even beautiful, some also said that they loved what I do and of course we took pictures. Even though I was getting more hate than love, I still smiled. For me its hard being positive but if I ever get a compliment or just told something good about me, I instantly smile. I kept smiling and smiling until this one fan.

"Athena! I love you so much you don't even understand!" A girl cheered while hugging me

"Aww, I love you more sweetheart" I giggled while I gave her a big, tight hug 

"I want to give you this" She stated as she hands a folded letter

"Aww thank you so much" I said

She then walked away, and I saw her meet up with another girl who came from Carter's and I saw those two laughing and then I saw her pointing at me while her friend laughs. I got worried but quickly looked at the letter, it was pretty short but it said:

Dear Athena, 

To me you are completely worthless, you are a fucking slut! You slept with every boy in Magcon I bet and you probably forced them to because you are so desperate. I hope you get kick out of Magcon cause you don't belong there, your brother does and let me tell you, no one likes you, fans like you and use you to get close to Matthew. So I hope you cut yourself till you die because you have no reason to be here! You are a waste of space and hope you have fun cutting, you nasty whore!

Sincerely, Your Biggest Fan <3

"Your biggest fan" I can't believe I just read that. After a few seconds started happening, I was going to get a panic attack. I quickly hid the letter and told Mahogany I was going to the bathroom. I quickly walked over there with a burning sensation on my arm. I started scratching my arm and then I ran over to the biggest bathroom stall. I started freaking out, I couldn't control myself. 

The room started spinning, i couldn't breathe and my heart was pounding out of my chest, and I couldn't stop shaking. Memories were attacking my head, the worst memories ever. Everything was turning black and I was light headed. I sat near the corner and just then for about a minute, I blacked out. I woke up and started crying, honestly just why me? Why do I always get hate? My anxiety couldn't handle that letter. 

I feel like cutting now, I just want to cut my pain away since that's the only thing that helps. I also had a feeling that I was choked and I looked up at the ceiling. I noticed there was some light reflecting, I look around and found a piece of a mirror. Of course, it was sharp and i took a deep breath. I rolled up my sleeve and slit somewhere around my wrist only twice because I just wanted to feel some pain and pain just makes all the bad stuff go away.

After cutting myself, I felt better. I could breathe normally but my arm felt numb. I got up and I started to walk but I was struggling so I just sat back down for a couple seconds and went back up. I could walked and rolled my sleeve back down. I rinsed my face with water to make it look like nothing happened and walked out.

I can't just believe that all just went down in the bathroom. As I saw Mahogany, I faked a smile and continued with the meet and greet until 9:00 pm. I only met a few other fans and a few said hi. After it was done, I realized that it was time for that "date" with Cameron. I was nervous and scared what Cameron will do and say since what happened with me and Nash. I went up to him and said

"Hey Cameron....umm is that "thing" you planned still on because....I thought you might of cancelled it of what-" I kept blabbing until he spoke

"Yea, its still on but we are going to the hotel first. Dress up kinda casual and trust me, it's going to be fun" He explained with a little smirk at the end. I can tell the fans brightened up his mood. I can't wait for this, I know Cameron really loves having an adventure. At least, I can take my mind off of what happened. We all then went in the limo and drove off to the hotel.