Werewolf In Smallville

24: acceptance and psychotic uncles

Clark Kent, it's been three days since I found out Jordan used my death against Eli, Eli's spent most days over at Nat's when he isn't in the barn with me. I've been... keeping my distance from Jordan. I know I shouldn't, but I can't face him right now. I flew back into mine and Lois's room, it's night, I've been gone for most of the day. The light flickered on. "We need to talk" Lois Demanded, I quickly got changed into an old T-shirt and tracky-bottoms. "I know" I sighed, I already know what we need to talk about. "You need to talk to Jordan" said Lois, I sat down on our bed. "I know" I sighed, I rested my head in my hands. "It's tearing him up that you're ignoring him!" She said, I let out a stressed sigh, gripping my hair. "I know Lois!" I yelled, I stood up, looking at her. "Don't you think it's tearing me up?!" I asked, I took a few deep shaky breaths. "It is. I hate staying away from him, I- I just can't face him" I said, I sat down, I felt her sat down next to me. "I didn't think ethier of them had the capability to do that, use something like that against someone, especially someone in Eli's situation" I said, I put my head in my hands. "I feel like I failed Lois" I whispered, I put my hands down. "I was afraid that I was a bad person, but I never thought my sons had the capability to do something like that!" I said, I felt her hand on my shoulder. "Maybe if I was there more, may-" I started, she squeezed my shoulder, I glanced at her. "Don't go there, this isn't your fault" she said, I looked down. "For the first time in awhile, I don't believe you" I said quietly, why else would he do that? "Derek hale this is not your fault!" She yelled, I looked at her. That's my lois. "I acted like that when I was a teenager, I wasn't the best kid" she said, I lightly smiled, grabbing her hand. "So did I" I reminded quietly, Derek hale did anywa-y.. "paige" I whispered, I turned away. "What Clark? What did you realise? Remember?" She Asked, she squeezed my hand. "I've been through something like this once" I said, I glanced at her. "Just on the other side" I said, when I killed paige, when my family found out.

I've been in my room for days, mum doesn't want me leaving my room. Am I grounded? She said I wasn't, That I was fine, but she- she can't really think that... there was a knock at my door. "come in" I said Quickly, no one's come to see me except to... nevermind. Laura entered. "What's going on? Why doesn-" I questioned, I'm so confused! No one's telling me anything! "You killed someone" Laura observed, she's been out of town for the past week with our extended family, So she's just hearing it now. "Y-ya.. I did" I said, I looked down. I heard her gasp. "I didn't believe it" she said, this is the reaction I've been getting from all of my older brothers and sisters. "It's true" I said, I won't attempt to explain. "Go" I whispered, they don't want to hear it. "Why?" She asked, I feel like that's obvious. "Because I know you Just want to leave" I said, the hatred that I know is in her eyes and scent.. I can't see it, not again, but I'll be stuck with the smell. "No" she said, I felt her hand on my shoulder, I flinched and pulled back, I looked at her as she sat next to me. "I want to know why you took a life" she said, No hatred. Only concern in her scent and eyes. "What?" I whispered, she wants me to explain? "I know no one's giving you a chance to explain yourself, I know you have a good reason" she said, sh- she wants to hear me out? "I promise I didn't want this" I started, I could hear the emotions in my voice. she wants to know. "Of course you didn't" she said softly, I tried to speak but I couldn't. I fell against her, crying. "I- I didn't want this to happen!" I yelled, she put her arms around me. "It's okay, I know you didn't" she soothed, she wants to hear me out.

I told her everything. I told her how I met Paige, when we started dating, when Peter brought up the fact that the relationship wouldn't last, how he reached out to that other alpha to bite her.. and how I- I killed her. "I swear I didn't want that to happen" I whispered, Paige was my everything. I heard her mumble something. "I- I need to go talk to someone" she said, she hates me. She she got up, I stood up quickly, standing with my arm out "wait" I said, but the door was already closed. She left. "Please" I whispered, I sat, wrapping my arms around myself. "I don't want to be alone" I whispered, I laid down, trying to keep the tears from falling. I let out a sob. She hates me. They all do.