Peaks And Valleys

Phase 47

"WHAT––"

Hindi niya ako pinatapos magsalita. Marahas nitong hinigit ang braso ko paalis sa dancefloor. His grip was tight and he was so strong. Suminghap ako sabay subok na magbawi ng kamay pero wala lang iyon sakanya. My face crumbled as I looked up to his broad shoulders. Ang buhok at tainga nitong parang pamilyar sa akin.

My eyes went down to his hand on my wrist. Doon ay nakita ko ang isang pamilyar na relo. I recognized it. Agad na namilog ang mga mata ko nang matanto kung kanino iyon. It was Caliban's! He's here? He's dragging me out! Narito nga siya't personal ako ngayong inilalabas sa night club. Halos matapilok ako sa laki ng mga hakbang nito. He wouldn't even look back to check if I am okay!

"Caliban, let of of my wrist, I can walk." Salubong ang kilay ko nang sabihin iyon.

Galita niya akong nilingon. Nagtatagis ang bagang. The same look he had when he first saw Verron with me. Bumaba ang tingin nito sa kamay ko. He temporarily let go of m hand to get my bag. His eyes look sharp. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sabay bawi ng tingin.

"Why did you drag me out?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Sumsayaw?" I grumbled.

"Who invited you here?"

Humawak ako sa noo at luminga. There are post lights in the parking so it wasn't really dark. Nawala na rin ang hilo ko pero mainit pa rin ang katawan ko. Parang sinisindihan ng apoy ang dibdib ko habang ang puso ko'y mabilis pa rin ang pintig. My face feels numb. Kinapa ko ang pisngi bago tumalikod para sana bumalik pero muli nitong hinigit ang kamay ko.

"Who invited you, Liberty?"

Binawi ko ang kamay ko. There he is again with his questions. Bakit siya narito? How did he know I was here? At bakit siya nagagalit na narito ako? Why is he acting like he cares? Bakit? Kasi kaibigan pa rin? Because he respects me the most and that he thinks highly of me?

Frustrations filled my chest as I took back my arm. I wasn't naturally irritable. I'm not a demented person. Pero ngayon, nakakaramdam ako ng inis. Iyong frustration, narito sa akin. I am triggered and I know it.

"I'm with Vanessa and Sunshine."

"Sumama ka?" May galit sa boses nito. "What did you drink and why do you look like that? Lasing ka, Liberty?"

"Why are you mad?" Hindi ko napigilang itanong. "Bakit ka nagagalit? Bakit biglang narito ka at hihilahin ako palabas na para bang may responsibilidad ka sa akin?"

"You are drunk."

"Then let me be."

Hindi ko alam kung saan ko nakukuha ang tapang kong magsalita ng ganoon. I don't talk and behave like this. Pero, hindi ko mapigil ang sarili ko. Right now, I am trying. He may not know but I am. Mahirap magpigil kapag nariyan siya't pinakikitaan ako ng malasakit. Everytime he looks at me with care, concern, every single time he tries to approach and show me that he thinks of me. Kapag inaaya niya ako, kapag gusto niya akong samahan, kapag tinutulungan niya ako. Those were the times that I am battling with my feelings inside me.

How can you not fall harder when he's just near? If he kesps showing something. When I keep assuming that there is something. Ngayon, heto na naman siya. I kept thinking that this feeling will fade soon. Sana infatuation lang. Sana paghanga lang.

Pero iyon ang inaakala ko.

"If your father finds out––"

"I told him, Caliban." Binasa ko ang ibabang labi bago siya nilingon. "Kung iyon ang inaalala mo, you can go now. He knows I'm here."

"Alam niya ring nakikipagsayaw ka sa ibang lalake?" He spat.

My heartbeat even doubled. Ano, Caliban? Is that an issue to you? May mali ba roon? Tell me why you're mad and we will both come home.

"He knows I'm single." Napahinga ako nang malalim.

Nang hindi siya sumagot ay hindi ko na dinugtungan pa iyon. I pushed back my hair and pull down the end of my dress before I marched towards the exit. Halos mabingi ako sa kabog ng puso ko. His eyes are intense. Parang may pinaglalaban. Luckily, I didn't falter. We are friends but I think I have the rights to go whatever I want. Kaibigan ko siya pero limitasyon niya ang mga desisyon ko. If he really thinks of me as a friend, that is.

Bago ako tuluyang maka-akyat ng hakbang ay muli ko na namang naramdaman ang kamay nito sa akin. But he didn't pull me this time. It wasn't forceful, this time.

"Umuwi na tayo, Liberty."