Matt - Anxiety Ruins Everything

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by fanficsbymia11

by fanficsbymia11

hiiiii! I i thought id do another sad chapter for Matt!
i love you guys sm
tysm for 12K . i cannotttt !
here we go y'all!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Matt! Time to go, sweetheart." Nick called out.

The triplets were about to leave for Madi's birthday party and running late. Nick was being pretty sweet toward Matt because Matt had vocalized his anxieties and worries about the party throughout the week. There were going to be many people there, and it scared him. Matt's social anxiety typically spiked when it came to parties and large social events.

Matt was sitting on his bed, fully dressed and ready, but almost in tears. Matt fiddled with the strings on his blue Fresh Love hoodie, hands shaking with anxiety and anticipation. "Nicky? Can you come up here?" Matt answered back, voice trembling.

Nick came up the stairs and into Matt's room, sitting gently on his bed. "What's wrong, babes?" Nick said gently, rubbing Matt's back. "Talk to me,"

Matt inhaled what his brothers would call an "anxiety breath", and he looked at Nick for comfort. "Hey, hey, Matt. Don't worry, sweet love. Everyone is super duper excited to see you tonight, okay?" Nick squeezed Matt's hand.

"Mhm, okay, Nick," Matt whispered.

"Okay. Now, take a deep breath, Matty," Nick instructed. "In... and out... good, good job."

Matt stood up and shook out his arms and legs, sighing as he did so. "Okay, I think we can go,"

"Chris! Get off Fortnite, you fucking buffoon." Nick shouted.

~~~~

The brothers made their way to Madi's house, and when they got there, Matt's anxiety started up again. He forced himself inside, saying a brief 'hi' to everyone as he made a beeline to the washroom. The panic in his chest felt like leaves on a windy fall day. Finally, with a vibrating hand on his chest, Matt made it into the bathroom. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as his heartbeat thumped loudly in his ears. Me and this stupid anxiety. It's just a fucking party. Despite these thoughts, Matt's thumping heart rate quickened, as did his inhales and exhales. His ears rang high-pitched. Matt's stomach dropped as he realized what was happening. He was having a panic attack.
And he was all alone.

~~~~

"Hey, Madi! Happy birthday, Queen!" Nick said, hugging his friend. He placed her gift on the table and walked over to the couch to chat with Chris, Madi, and Nate. They chatted and talked about their plans for Madi's birthday week. Chris greeted Madi with a bear hug, and they shared a laugh after Chris made a joke about Bentley. "Bro, he's just a dog!" Madi giggled. "Lay off of him!"
The conversation fell silent, and Nick had a strange feeling. "Have any of you guys seen Matt?" he asked, grabbing his phone and standing up.

A chorus of "no, sorry, not sure" followed.

Nick and Chris both went in different directions to find the anxious brunette. Nick had tried to text Matt, as did Chris, but they got no reply.

~~~~

As for Matt, he sat in the washroom, curled up in a ball, gasping for air. It felt like he was dying. He just needed one deep breath, just one. His body shook as he silently sobbed. His skin was slick with sweat and the ringing in his ears was unbearable. "Please- stop- I can't-" he whispered to himself through his tears. His chest heaved for air as he cried. He grabbed his head in his hands, trying to get the anxious thoughts to leave him alone. Matt was getting lightheaded from the lack of oxygen, and black spots danced through his vision. Suddenly, Chris came bursting through the bathroom door.

"Matt, hey, hey. Look at me," he whispered, kneeling beside his unconsolable brother. "Can I hug you, Matt?"

Matt stifled a sob and nodded. Chris wrapped his arms around Matt and hugged him tightly. "Okay, Matt. Do what I do, ready? Breathe in... and out... good, Matt." Matt breathed along with Chris, and when he was finally able to take a deep breath, he did so, filling his lungs with the crisp oxygen that they longed for.

"Thank you, Chris," Matt said. "I- I just felt, I don't know, like... I just can't do this- I wanna be here, but anxiety ruins everything." Matt rambled, tears sliding down his cheeks. "I just feel so stupid!" Matt sobbed into Chris's shirt.

Chris's heart sank hearing Matt cry. "I know, Matt. But I promise you, you are not stupid. Madi will understand if you wanna go home."

"I think I wanna stay, I wanna be here for Madi." Matt decided. He stood up, splashed his face with water, and left the bathroom to go be with Madi and her friends.

Chris sat there stunned at Matt's epiphany, and soon, he stood up and joined everyone on the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~

the endddd
ily guys so much
been a horrible week but f it we ball
had to provide yall w a new chappy

i love you all, thank you for being there
for me and supporting me no matter
what. i love you. be well, live life,
breathe, and do what makes you happy.

~ mia xoxo