How She Came Home

Chapter Seventy-Two

Their first week at Nun's passed by quickly, with Mind and Nam returning to National City after a few days for work - their shifts had been sporadic at best over the past month, with unpaid leave allowances for bereavement, and then to go to Germany - because they didn't have Becca's luxury of taking as much time off as they wanted. 

Becca arranged for her jet to drop them off and Rawee picked them up from the airport, sending Athena back on the jet with the private air hostess so she could head back to L.A. for a few days to check in with her own business.

The arrival of the excitable German Sherpherd seemed to awaken Freen though, some sort of light going on inside her as she was slobbered over and hounded for scratches under Athena's chin and was brought tennis ball after tennis ball to throw from the back porch when she sat outside. 

Becca hadn't even thought that a dog would be able to bring back some life to her, but she would watch from the doorway as Freen let out hoarse laughs, unusual when they'd been so common before, and cooed in a high-pitched voice, eyes creasing at the corners behind the new glasses Becca had ordered from her optometrists, as close to her old frames as she could find.

Still, even into the second week there, resting and recuperating as her bones slowly knit themselves back together and she indulged in as much food as she wanted to, a healthier glow to her fuller face and a more serene expression on her face, Freen was still uncharacetristically morose. 

Most nights she woke screaming and Becca would try and put as much distance between them as she could while simultaneously trying to calm her down, trying to stop her thrashing. It was more so out of concern for Freen's feelings if she hit Becca again, rather than her own physical wellbeing if she was hit again. 

Most nights, Becca slept only a few hours, staying up after the nightmares to hold Freen as she cried herself back to sleep, whispering nonsense to her until the sun came up - old snatches of poetry, of essays, remembered monologues of TED Talk speeches she'd given, dialogue from plays or novels, lists of what she loved about Freen or what they were going to do. She got little sleep in those two weeks, but none of that mattered.

Nun was back in work as well, her long hours leaving the two of them alone at home for the most part. 

Becca thought she would have craved being home alone with Freen after so long apart, but instead it just felt impossibly lonely, something she just couldn't comprehend. 

Freen was the one person who'd always managed to make her feel anything but alone, and yet there was an insurmountable void between there that their shared ordeal had put between them, both of them on opposite sides of the experience.

After she'd tidied up the kitchen that morning, she went to find Freen. 

She was wearing navy blue corduroy shorts, left in the closet from some previous stay, a faded tourist t-shirt from an old trip to Colorado Springs, and there was sand on her bare right foot from where she'd ventured off the porch on crutches. 

Leaning against the railing, looking golden with her tan and dressed for summer, she could have been ready for the beach, squinting out at the blue waves, her freckled nose wrinkled slightly, and Becca studied her for a moment, committing it to memory.

"What do you want to do today?" she disturbed her eventually. "We could go somewhere. The diner maybe. The bookstore - there were a few new releases I think you'll like. That new Sally Rooney book seems good."

"I don't mind," Freen replied, brushing her short hair out of her face as she tipped her face towards the sunlight filtering beneath the roof of the porch.