finding happiness

like all your other friends

ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ɪɴ ᴏᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ

:]

"yeah?" george calls to the knocking at his door, rolling in his bed to look over as light pours in from the hallway behind karl's head, circling him like a glowing halo.

karl always looks sort of celestial though, so the image doesn't really startle george into feeling anything other than a calming familiarity that comes with seeing the other's easy smile.

"hey," karl greets, stepping into the room without permission and gently shutting the door behind him. george doesn't really mind that he didn't explicitly ask to enter the room, he would've let him regardless. "how you doing?"

"good," george answers as he sits up in his bed. he doesn't know what time it is but, judging by karl's awake energy and put-together appearance, he assumes it's late enough that he should be out of bed.

karl closes the distance to the bed, sitting down on the edge. he's in line with where george's knees are bent slightly- close enough to reach out and touch the brit but far enough that he isn't intruding on his personal space.

"i feel like i've hardly seen you," karl comments. george glances down, following karl's own gaze and watching how his friend's hand sprawls over his grey sheets, twisting the soft material.

the comment is fair, george knows he's been distant. ever since karl arrived, george has felt even more like an extra wheel than he did when he was only housing with a literal couple.

he supposes it's because his insecurities have convinced him that he's intruding on all the good moments, and he knows that isn't their fault and they don't deserve the distance he's creating, but he can't help it.

it's all too easy for him to let everyone else live in the light while he seeks familiarity in the dark.

"sorry," he apologises for a million reasons, none of which he wants to expose to karl. "i'm just tired all the time recently," he excuses, which is technically true but not the primary reason for his self-exclusion. if he could convince himself that he was wanted and wouldn't ruin every good moment, george would easily overlook his tiredness in favour of being around his people.

karl, somehow, must see through him. "you've always been tired," he starts all too observantly, "that's never kept you away before."

george lets his own fingers curl around his duvet. he's still looking down at his sheets, but he can now feel karl's gaze burning against the side of his face.

"i didn't wanna get in the way," he confesses, more open than he's been since he confessed how depressed he was feeling almost half a year ago now. even then, he tiptoed around the darker truths that seeped through him.

a brief pause of thick silence is enough to spur george into looking up, nerves riddling his soul as he searches out karl's eyes for some kind of reaction.

the brunette offers him a sad smile, and the way his bright eyes perceive george cracks him open in a way he's never felt before. his soul feels ripped in two, his darkness pouring out like pandora's box.