From Everything That Was (Till Everything That Will Be)

Louis (Present)

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted
- Dancing With Our Hands Tied, Taylor Swift

Zayn had known Louis for many years. He had been there for ups and downs, often being the person to bring Louis out of his downward spiral. This time was no different.

So Zayn showed up at Louis' apartment in the middle of the night the weekend he visited Liam—which Louis probably would have known about if he had answered Zayn's calls.

It was around midnight, and Louis was in his bed when he heard the loud knocking on his door. Confusedly, he sat up. Clifford, who had been on his bed, had already jumped out of it, running to the hallway. He checked the time on his phone. With furrowed eyebrows, he got out of his bed and went into the hallway. The knocking was still there.

"I'm coming!" he called. "Jesus, stop knocking!"

The knocking stopped.

Louis gently pushed Clifford aside, opened the door and there was Zayn.

Louis took a step back. "Zayn?"

"We need to talk," Zayn said. "I've brought wine." He held the bottle up. "You haven't taken your night medicine yet, have you?"

Louis shook his head slowly, mouth agape. "No... I haven't."

"Good. Now, living room."

"You can't just come barging in here—"

"I can," Zayn said, walking past Louis into the hallway. "Come, Cliff, I've also bought you a snack!"

The dog ran after him.

Louis sighed before storming after Zayn. "Zayn, why are you here?"

Zayn was sitting on Louis' couch, feeding Clifford snacks. His jaw was tight. "You know why I'm here. You're spiralling again."

Louis threw his arms out to the side. "I'm not yours to babysit, Zayn. I'm fine."

"That's what you said all the other times, too," Zayn said. "Now, sit."

Louis pursed his lips but sat down on the other side of the couch nonetheless.

"Good," Zayn said. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Now tell me, what happened on Halloween?"

"Haven't they already told you?" Louis asked shortly. He didn't meet Zayn's eyes.

"I wanna hear your version," Zayn said, softly. "Something happened that made everything turn sour again."

Louis ran his fingers through his hair. "I let my guard down."

"Yeah?"

Louis wet his lips. "He kissed me. He asked if he could kiss me." Louis closed his eyes, exhaling. "I should've said no."

"Didn't you want to?"

"Of course I wanted to," Louis said. "I love him!"

Zayn looked taken aback by this. "What?"

Louis sighed. "I always have."

Zayn wet his lips. "Then why all this?"

"Because he deserves someone who isn't me," Louis whispered. He blinked rapidly, trying to force the tears to not spill.

"You always say stuff like that," Zayn said, "but you never have a valid reason."

"Isn't me being me reason enough!" Louis loudly said.