In The Blink of an Eye. (Complete)

Six Degrees of Separation

You could say that im in depression. You wouldn't be wrong. This was a terrible thing. My best friend in the entire world was gone. And not just gone like I was, he was dead. I knew that the day my family told me he probably wouldn't make it, would be the day he left me.

I needed him. 5 years later and I still haven't gotten over him. I missed him and there was a large chunk of my heart missing. it would be gone forever because what was there will never come back.

Ok this is getting really depressing. You know the song by The Script 'Six Degrees of Separation'? Well that's how I felt. Ok so the fifth and sixth degree wasn't in the parts of depression that ive actually felt. But that's because I was just as gone as he was.

Why is life so mean to those who have done nothing to deserve all the shit they've been put through. Ok so there are people who have done shitty things and who got what they deserve.

But what about me? I didn't do anything to deserve this fate. Or did I?

Roree was in a coma for 2 years before they decided to just pull the plug because he no longer had brain activity. I thought it was a good idea too, but it wasn't because it was simply the better option. I was ok with it, well not ok because I cried for weeks. But hopefully you understand what I mean. Please tell me you understand.

The reason I was agreeing to pull the plug on Roree is that I was guessing he was in the same place I was. That black then white place that I chose to leave just so I could get back to Roree. Or maybe he decided to take fate, just like I did, but instead of waking up, he went to heaven. Or hell. But I didn't want to think about that one.

Maybe this is some sick trick I just so happen to be a part of. or maybe this is a dream and I just cant see that yet.

Lets join a different topic.

When I left the hospital I wouldn't get in the car. I mean come on, I could have died in a car because someone was drunk in the daylight hours. What kind of person does that. Anyways, it took four people to pick me up from the wheelchair and put me in the car. And it wasn't because I was heavy, it was because of how hard I was fighting them. I had to be in a wheelchair for 6 months. That was a hard time because I couldn't go to school, see any of my friends from before. Normal stuff I used to do before the accident. But I didn't have the same friends anymore. They were all in their junior year of high school, and I still had a mind of a 14 year old.

It was a weird experience realizing you're older then you think, feel, etc.

I had nightmares for the longest time. They went on for 2 years after the coma. some of them were of the car crash, replaying what happened, seeing things from a different perspective from the pictures or just my mind being helpful and different.

Or my mind would be bleak and dark, just like that black room I was forced to stay in for 2 long years. I was hoping that Roree wasn't there. I know I already thought that, but it was constantly on my mind.

I still didn't know who everyone was. I was hard to go home to a place I wouldn't remember. But I had my twin to help me. We slept in the same bed for months on end, and I'd wake up to find her missing. Only to find out she had gone to school and woken up early.

I was going to school online for the most part. I had been in band in middle school and part of high school, but there wasn't a way to go back.

I was able to catch up a little bit and become a senior, a year younger then what I would have been. My sister was out of school for most of the year her freshman year too. She was so depressed and didn't want to feel the pity that people were treating her with.