Worth: A Star Wars Story (ON TEMP HIATUS)

//DAILY LOG 497: UNSEALING...

//DAILY LOG NUMBER: 497

//SUBJECT: ADVANCED WALKER TRAINING (Shiny needs to get some confidence)

Shiny was up practicing walker sims tonight. He's been agonizing over passing them for the past several weeks, and I know that with as hard as he's been gunning for them that it means a lot. Shiny is... well, he's not always motivated or driven to do a lot, but being a Walker pilot is a big dream for him, or at least being on a Walker crew. Seeing him standing in that sim and failing, swearing every colorful Corellian word he can muster up, was funny at first before I could see the frustration starting to turn to anxiousness.

He really, really wants this.

"I've watched you for the last half hour. Ever thought about changing your tactics up a smidge?" When I spoke, I saw him practically launch out of his skin, a small swear escaping his lips as he spun to turn and look at me, grey eyes wide.

"I've tried literally everything," he protested, frustration sneaking into his voice as I chuckled and made my way over to him.

"No..." I gave an incline of his head to the simulation booth seeing how confused he was following my gaze, "You've tried two tactics interchangeably over the past fifteen tries and neither of them has worked. You've tried to brute force your way through it and then tried to avoid those rockets entirely. How's that working for ya, Shiny?"

I saw his face take on the realization and slowly fall, his eyes going to the toes of his boots as he did, shame coming to him. That was one thing I hated. I wanted to know who had hurt this kid so badly that even making honest mistakes was a mark of shame so great that he couldn't even look me, his teacher, in the eyes.

"Ever considered being defensive for a change? Just because you're a big metal monstrosity doesn't mean you have to go to them."

The way his face lit up bright red made me laugh much harder than I should him, and I saw him sheepishly look back up at me with a small, somber nod.

"Shiny, don't overthink it. You're a good cadet, but you think too much. Now, get back in there and pass the sim."

I stood back and watched. He went in again, this time hanging back and letting the false insurgents come to him instead. He attacked them with teh guns, balsting them off of the ridgeline, and when he passed successfully, he boucned out of the sim, a surprisingly broad grin on his usually stoic face, beaming at the booth and then at me with a grateful nod. "Thank you, sir."

"Ah, it's why I think you should do these tests as a group. The first time you'll work with anyone is when they actually let you in one for the actual training," I rolled my eyes and dropped my arms to my sides, letting msyelf slide a smile at him as a certain warm pride filed my chest. i was happy he finally got it. Shiny is a good cadet, one of my best, and I had been with him for a few years now at this point. "Some of you don't need to be anywhere near a Walker, I understand, but how the kriff are you supposed to learn to coordinate altogether in one?" I cut msyelf off. the last thing he needed was alecture. Instead, I smiled and walked over, clapping him on the shoulder and giving him a little shake, his gaze meeting mine with one of those half-smiles he always seemed to have, "Eh, you're ready, Shiny. Just stick close to your seniors and listen to your commander. Trust the men to your left and right and be sure they can trust you."

I saw his smile fold and his brow furrow slightly, "Sir, why do you call me 'Shiny'?" I hadn't even noticed I was calling him that, really. Not out loud. He had been Shiny to me for a while now, everything about him reminding me of the Clone cadets from Kamino in more ways than I could say. He may have been paler, missed the Condordian Dawn accent, and had thick auburn hair, but he was as much of a soldier as any Clone cadet. I guess maybe that's why I took such a shine to him.

"Your armor's still got that off-the-rack shine to it. It's what we used to call new troopers before..." I trailed off, memories of the end of the Republic still painfully fresh in my mind, and my thoughts turned to my brothers still working for the Empire and all the ones who were struggling against it from the shadows. Suddenly, all of those old memories became painful to talk about, like a prick of ice in the center of my chest. "Well, doesn't really matter now, does it?" We had been walking for a moment when I realized we were at the intersection between the instructor quarters and the beginning of the cadet barracks. I turned to him and put a smile back on my face, "Get some rest, cadet. You've got a test tomorrow that I expect you to pass."

He gave me another half-smile, eyes smiling at me more than his face, a little shade of gratitude floating there as he nodded and turned to walk away.

The Empire doesn't deserve cadets like him.

And Shiny?

Shiny deserves so much more than this.