Worth: A Star Wars Story (ON TEMP HIATUS)

27. Does It Ever Get Easier?

As we left Sarkhai, there was a certain air among the Guard. For many of them, this was the first time that they had ever seen any genuine combat outside of what was done against street gangs and the occasional incursion by Separatist spies and small assassin groups. I could see that for some of them, it was a lot to process. I understood how that felt. My first day on Geonosis lost me my original squad in one fell swoop. However, we lived for a reason. What that reason was, I wasn't sure, but there was something to it, I figured.

I was wandering around the Venator that had been sent to bring us all home when I encountered Hex. He had found himself a quiet corner and was just sitting there, his once shiny white armor with the factory done paint job standing out from much of the ordinary Guards who had somewhat customized their armor to be a little more personalized. We had stricter requirements than most Clones because of our station, but so long as we kept it pretty close, Fox tended to act like he didn't notice.

I sat down next to Hex, watching the maintenance crews go over the ships across the hangars, the LAATs lined up in neat rows with their flashy nose art covered in nicks and soot, and just sat there as he kept rolling his helmet over in his hands. Neither of us said anything for a long time. Sometimes, you had to let them say the first word.

"Cap... When your squad... When they went down on Geonosis... How did you handle it?" Hex didn't look up from his helmet when he asked, and when I looked over at him, the helmet had stopped moving, its black visor staring up at him.

"At first? I didn't. I shoved it to he back of my head because I needed to survive and make sure that Red, Grek, Tor, and I completed our mission." I watched his face. It didn't move at all, like he was waiting for me to continue. "When everything was said and done, though? It was hard. There isn't a quick fix to just get over it. Your brothers can help you. The Guard is close knit. There are always boys there to help you." 

"Does it ever get easier?"

"Honestly? No." He still kept quiet, and I looked down at the datapad in my hands. I had been meaning to find him to give him this, but I was a bit hesitant. "You can always come to me, Hex."

"I won't always be in your squad, Cap," he shook his head and started rolling the helmet in his hands again. 

That was the opening that I was looking for.

"You could be," I shrugged, and that made him look up, eyes wide. I handed him the datapad, and I watched him look it over and set the helmet down. He snapped his head up to look at me, eyes wide and mouth agape, "What do you say?"

"Cap... I... Sir, this is..." He looked back down at the datapad and quickly scanned his chain code on his armor and handed it back, a big grin coming to his face. "Being a part of Breaker is a dream, sir!"

"Hey!" I laughed and held up a hand, "Fox still needs to okay the transfer, but consider this an informal welcome for now, yeah?"

"Yes, sir!" Hex couldn't stop grinning. I knew that it wouldn't take the pain of what had happened to him away, but I figured that it would help make the transition a little bit easier if he had us around.

"Now, all I gotta do is get Ryder..."

"He'd be crazy to say no."

"Yeah, well, Ryder knows us better than most."

"And... that would make him say no?"

"Oh, Hex... You have no idea."

--

To our surprise, the promotion of a Clone to the rank of Marshal Commander was a big deal even outside of the GAR. We were tasked to provide security for the event since a few senators were present, and the Chancellor was the one who was presenting the promotion. Agen Kolar and Talen were there, and I could see the kid practically bouncing with excitement when they walked Trill out onstage. The entirety of the 82nd Legion was present, standing proudly at attention. Cobalt and Umbra had their helmets off as the senior officers, and I could practically see Cobalt glowing with pride with two new medals on his chest, but that look was cast perfectly on Trill. Even I felt a little proud. Trill was a good Clone, and he deserved the promotion more than anyone else on that campaign. The ceremony was about as dry as you'd expect it to be. The part I was looking forward to was when Trill formally took command of the Corps. Chancellor Palpatine formally gave him his promotion and a medal for his bravery on Sarkhai as requested by Senator Grell, and soon he walked down the steps, helmet up under his arm as Cobalt turned sharply on his heel and faced the men.