Under the Orange Jumpsuit

Chapter 7: Uninvited Guests of the Heart and Soul

There goes one. Two. It turned into ten large cuts in quick succession as Naruto sliced along, red decorating his arms generously and curling around them before dripping off, gathering into small pools below him. He admired the wounds that were only allowed for a short time, for the fox healed them away almost immediately. It was annoying, really. Why couldn't that stupid fox leave them alone? He wanted dearly for the outside to match his inside: deep, painful scars that complimented the open and bleeding ones on the inside, the ones that would never scar over.
He huffed to himself as he tossed his blade away, pushing his head into his hands and carding his hands through his messed-up, blond hair. He was so frustrated with himself, to no end.
The whole week was a complete and utter bust.
He'd done horribly in almost every training exercise, much to Kakashi's disappointed looks and his teammates' glares at his pitiful attempts.
He'd been steadily gaining more weight, as he couldn't stop the midnight stress binges and would pass out before he'd manage to purge them, forcing him to hurry every morning from the moment he woke up to try and purge out whatever he could, as useless as it was in the end.
He just wished for death at that point. The sweet bliss of it would probably be the only thing to assuage his simmering rage and hatred for himself. He wanted to tear away his skin and rip himself apart so terribly, until there was nothing left.
The closest thing he could get to that, though, was to cut away at himself with his blades; however, since the pain and wounds were so temporary, it felt like nothing was substantial enough. He was challenged to carve his entire name into his arms. Jagged, harsh, and deep gashes ripped through his skin, dumping what he would consider buckets of blood to the floor. His small smile let through pained whimpers as it happened, and he trails of blood made their crawl about the floor.
It was funny knowing that the first taste of a blade wasn't even of his own accord, but now that he'd felt it, he couldn't help but think about having it a part of his life. He remembered the first time he felt the cruel kiss of the brutal weapon on his flesh.


-


"Let's see how this kid works, shall we?" The older boy smirked, clear malicious intent in his tone, as his friends held Naruto to the ground and he slowly took the blade to Naruto's left forearm.
Naruto let out the beginnings of a bloody scream before his mouth was covered. "Quit your crying, you little freak. It's not like anyone will save you anyway."He smirked cruelly before he continued to slice away at Naruto's arms, the muffled cries doing nothing to stop him.
He pulled back eventually as his eyes widened in awe of how the bloody wounds closed up. "Sweet! The freak's got some cool party tricks after all; I wonder what else he could do." The boy eyed him, licking his lips in thought.
Naruto was at their mercy, the painful slices about his body carving him up like a piece of meat, and he couldn't do anything about it. He was so young and small compared to the older boys, barely of the age of seven, he couldn't do anything but lay there and take it as stoically as he possibly could, as his tears and whimpers went unheard in the dark, wintery night.
Ever since that night, Naruto knew his place. Even with the high hopes and dreams he set for himself, he knew that they wouldn't matter in the end. He was despised, hated, and taunted. By strangers and by his own friends.
He played at the hilt of the blade before sliding it along his arm once more, letting the cool blade soothe him as it glided across his skin. The tease sent shivers over him.
The overwhelming pain he always felt, from the moment he woke up to the minute he shut his eyes at night, made him try anything he could to drown it out, even with other pain.
Many nights he still thought about those boys; though they were only the tip of the iceberg, they opened his eyes to the cruelty of his village and the realization that he would never be safe.
But he had to thank them nonetheless; thanks to them, he'd found one more way to dull his pain, even for just a moment, as he eyed the tip of the kunai.



-


A deep stir within him, Naruto was completely unaware at the time. A beast awakens, eyes slit open slowly to reveal red irises. He hisses as he comes out of his slumber, his ears twitching and his nose flaring as he exhaled heavily.
This kid. Kurama murmured to himself. He huffed at the many disturbances he'd felt; he was tired of the small signals of pain that were a constant nag to him, waking him from his rest many a time. He reached out to his senses to grasp an understanding of the current situation. The pungent stench of blood was the first thing to hit him, causing him to huff in reaction. That kid was at it again, and he could taste the lingering vomit on the boy's tongue.
He pulled back from it, burying himself back into himself and away from the awful sensations. He couldn't understand how that kid could keep in that state for so long and so frequently. It was no way to live.
Why won't he just quit it already? I've offered up my chakra and healed him so many times in the past few minutes alone. This kid was becoming more trouble than he was worth. He gruffed, his claws reaching out and grazing against the bars that held him in. Rambunctious, inconsiderate brat you are.
He was growing tired of it; the pathetic host of his was a troublesome one at that. He couldn't recall having a host who was such a masochist; it was far from pleasant, and he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be subjected to such grotesque practices. But again, he curled back up, shutting his eyes and biding his time for the right moment.
"Naruto Uzumaki, hmm," he growled lowly as he settled again.