Lucky in Love (A Reality TV Romance)

Eight (confessional)

"I'm sorry. If I made your day harder, I mean."

"Alex-"

Alex turns to Delia. "You too." She's being sincere. "Like—" she glances back to the now-familiar Rookie running the cam that's recording as she recounts every single moment of the night. "Like, off-camera. Not as a contestant, as a person." She glances between the two of them, and then briefly to the guy adjusting the boom mic over her head, even though he had no involvement in the un-mic'ing earlier. "You guys are wrangling 40 women, and four men, and however many other people—" She shakes her head. "I just wanted to put that out there. Away from the drama out there." She gestures to the hall.

She's not the only girl doing a full rundown of the night on camera. And while they're recounting every last thing, the ones that aren't being interrogated are chatting among themselves, theorizing on who's attracted the most interest from which Kings. Or whatever. Alex is sure she'll be sucked into it as well; she's curious, too.

The Rookie shoots a look at Delia, hesitating, and for a second Alex thinks he might stop recording, but whatever distracted him soon seems to pass. He goes back to looking at the monitor.

Delia sighs. "This is supposed to be confessional only, Alex, not chatting with us. Thank you," she adds, assuringly, and there's a directness in her eye contact that Alex appreciates, "but if you can take your mark when you're speaking, and direct your words towards camera, that would be best."

There's a slight crookedness to Alex's lips as she looks into the lens, gaze flicking up briefly to the man staring at the monitor before returning her eyes to the glass. "Okay. Hello towards-camera. I'm sorry. I try to be as open and honest as possible, and - ideally - admit when I'm in the wrong. And in this case I was in the wrong. I just didn't know any better."

"Actually, do you want to elaborate on what happened with that tonight? We might as well."

"Sure." Alex starts in on explaining the actual events, like she has for every other thing that happened during the mixer.

...

"...and I felt the need to apologize, because - like I told the camera guy - I haven't actually watched reality TV in years?"

"Can you-"

"I haven't actually watched reality TV in years," Alex repeats, not as a question. "I haven't really watched much TV outside of streaming services, actually. I haven't owned a TV since freshman year of college."

"What do you think of that?"

Alex's eyes narrow, trying to figure out what exactly Delia's asking, then decides to just explain all of it. She'd covered some of it in her application interviews, but never on camera-camera. Besides, her dad deserves to be called out for what he did.

"I had some trouble in my second year of college. I ended up dropping out for a semester - I needed some time to figure myself out - and my dad wasn't happy about that, and about-" she hesitates, glancing down, and her lips curve into a sarcastic attempt at a smile. "Well, my dad wasn't happy about a lot of my choices. Still isn't." Looking up, straight into the camera, Alex's smile gets a little more pointed. "Hi dad." She huffs a slight laugh, glances down, and continues. "Anyway. After my first year of college— well, actually-" She shakes her head and tries again. "I dropped out for a semester in college. And then I did a summer session to make up for it, but midway through my dad informed me that he'd no longer be paying my tuition. My parents divorced after-"

Clearing her throat, Alex continues. "My parents divorced when I was 16. And my dad got remarried when I was 17. And in college, I wasn't pursuing the plan he had for me, so he pulled his support. Thanks to my mom, and a lot of scraping together funds, I managed to graduate. I started bartending part time while I was still in school, and have kept it up to this day."

Wait, that's not even what she was talking about. Tucking brightly colored hair behind her ear again, Alex explains, "I had to downsize and get rid of a lot of stuff after my dad stopped financial support, so I gave up TV. It wasn't, like, a big deal. I had to get my news online, but that was fine, I was 20, I had all these other things going on in my life anyway. But yeah. I didn't really watch reality TV. My best friends, though..." She grins.

"I can thank my friends for getting me on the show. They are avid reality TV fans, and maybe just a little nosy and well-meaning, and they thought this seemed like the fit for me. And then-" she laughs. "Well, Ren dared me, so obviously I had to." Snickering, she adds, "Kidding, by the way. I mean— Ren did dare me, but that's not why I decided to actually do it."

"Why is that?"

"Well... My friends were right to nominate me. They want what's best for me, and have seen me with some real losers. Just..." Again, Alex averts her eyes. "I've had some bad history. But these things have made me stronger." Her chin raises as she clears her throat again. "And they were right that it's about time I met someone worthy of me. So that's what I'm looking for here. Someone who isn't just in it for the sex. Not that sex is bad— I mean, I'm a pretty sex-positive person, that's not— I mean," she actually blushes a little, more at her own fumbling over words than the content of said words.

"I'm fine if sexual attraction is part of it. Nathan was totally right that attraction plays a big part in romance. But I don't want someone who'll use me because I'm there and willing. I want someone who I choose, and who chooses me back. And... in a weird way... I guess, I can see how having such a large field of options, I'll know I wasn't the default. It will be a choice to pick me, over someone else. ...Which probably sounds weird and desperate." She rolls her eyes, snorting softly. "Yeah, definitely."

"No it doesn't."

Alex's laugh is sharper this time, but lighter. "I mean, it's your job to say that, but thank you."

Delia smiles back. "...So what did you think of the Kings?"