Lucky in Love (A Reality TV Romance)

Twenty-Six (post-elimination confessional)

"So."

Alex nods silently, staring at her hands. She's out of it, lost in a buzz of incoherent thought, confusion wedging a crease in her brow.

"...How are you feeling?"

She looks at Delia. "I... I'm not sure how I feel," she admits, plainly.

Delia just nods and hums, leaving the air open for Alex to go on. When Alex finally looks around, she's slightly taken aback, though it takes a moment to register. "No cam 12?"

"We're running with half the cams at the moment, just trying to get reactions from the top three before confessionals later. They'll be back." Right. Yeah. Alex nods again. "So what was going through your head when Brad called your name?"

"When Brad calls my name..." Alex's brows raise, shaking her head. After a short pause, her tone has a vague sardonic lilt. "Well I definitely wasn't expecting it." Gradually she's coming out of her shock, her thoughts falling into place. "I just keep wondering who. 'Cause I'm like 70% sure Hayden was Tyler's pick, and I think Kai might've chosen me - even if it was just pity - but I don't know. Hana could be Devon or Nathan, Hayden could be Nathan or Tyler, I... I don't know who chose me. They've all shown interest at one point or another, but my only dates were with Kai and Tyler."

"Let's start with Tyler, then. Why could he have put you as his top pick?"

"I mean, I won the— the... stupid... mud wrestling thing. And he kissed me." She rolls her eyes. "I don't know, maybe Tyler was way more into that kiss than I was."

"What about Devon?"

"Pure sex appeal?" Alex is skeptical. "Honestly, I know nothing about Devon. He was hitting on me hard at brunch yesterday. But I have no idea why he'd pick me over someone else. To be honest, I don't get why any of them would pick me over someone else."

"We'll come back to that." Delia's comment makes Alex wince theatrically. "First, Nathan."

"Nathan and I had a good talk. But I don't know why he'd pick me over someone like Hana or Mina or Lorelai or... a lot of people."

"Why do you think you wouldn't be someone's first choice?"

"I mean, I guess I can understand Kai's. I told him about— I freaked out, I just— I stalled out... I don't know." Alex shakes her head, frustrated at trying to figure out her words. Finally, when she speaks, there's a hard edge of cynicism hidden under her seemingly lighthearted sarcasm. "I told him my brother died. Sad girl gets a kiss. You can't exactly send someone home after that."

"But he put you as his top pick— allegedly."

Rolling her eyes, Alex shrugs, hands gesturing with quickly building nervous energy. "I don't know! I can't figure it out. This whole game is beyond me. I don't get it."

"You were someone's top pick, Alex."

Again, Alex shakes her head, stubborn. "I'm a novelty."

Delia is quiet for a minute. Alex turns to her, brows raised in challenge. Finally, Delia asks, "Want to stop for now? Come back for confessional later?"

It takes her a second, but only just. "Yeah." One deep breath, and Alex forces herself to calm, at least slightly. "...Yeah. I need a minute."

"Come on, I'll find you a room."

-*-

"Go ahead and set up, I'll get Carla."

Jonas nods, heading into room 3 as per usual. He must've missed Ben, 'cause the sound equipment is half-set, the boom up but the wires and box still in the case. Unpacking his gear from the trip to the second location, it's a surprisingly quick set. Maybe it's just become habitual over the course of the week; the set-up, the framing, the balance, all that.