Lucky in Love (A Reality TV Romance)

Twenty-Two (after the date with Tyler)

"So how are you feeling after two group dates?"

Alex is done with the play-by-play of the day, and they're finally wrapping up the confessional - or at least, Alex hopes they are.

"After two group dates, I'm feeling pretty confident. I think at least one of the guys I've seen this week will keep me on his list. And I still have two Kings I can really get to know."

"But how are you feeling about your relationships? With Kai? Tyler?"

Alex nods, thinking. "I mean... to be honest... I think I've basically crossed Tyler off of my list."

Delia's eyebrows shoot up. "So soon?"

With a hum of confirmation, Alex glances down at her hands, relaxed. She speaks candidly, but sincerely. As always. "Physical chemistry is really important to me. And even if someone is crazy attractive - which, really, all of the Kings are - I know that I'm just a physical person. Physical affection, physical comfort, physical attraction - it's not just about looking hot, it's about feeling intimate. Does that make sense?"

"Physical comfort is important to you?"

Alex shoots Delia a skeptical look, a small smile, but she just shakes her head and tries to put it into words. "I like being touched. When I'm upset, especially, or feeling lonely or insecure. I think there's some brain chemistry there as well, some kinda magic feel-good hormones or something. It's why I get clingy with my friends. Not— not like, emotionally clingy," she clarifies, quickly, "But like— hugging, hanging on, touching people." Her eyes narrow intently, looking for some kind of understanding in Delia's eyes.

"But that's your friends. What about romantic partners? What's the difference for you?"

"The difference between friends and romantic partners..." Alex considers the question. "I guess... To me, there are kinda like three sorta-" she gestures vaguely with her hands. "-Like... spheres of influence. Or like, a Venn diagram. So there's platonic relationships - that's like friendships, feeling comfortable and playful, and then— like the deeper level of that, with trusting someone, telling them— Actually." She shakes her head, frustrated. "Maybe it's more like a Venn diagram with like... a tunnel. Connecting two of the things."

It's surprisingly difficult to explain something that felt like it made sense a few minutes ago. "Okay. So, the three circles - platonic, romantic, sexual. And right now most of my relationships with the Kings are, to be blunt, mostly sexual. Maybe a little more complex with Kai, because he's gotten some of that intimacy I don't always share with people. But— I said this before: I want to fall in love with my best friend." She's confident again, nodding, eyes fixed on Delia.

"That's the difference I'm looking for," Alex says assuredly. "My previous relationships were all about the sex, with a little of the romance in there as well. But that was it. Love is all three. And— yes, okay, so in this diagram there's a little bleed of platonic to romantic - the intimacy, the trust side of things - but I still need the connection platonically as well. And..." Her head tilts, eyes skirting away. "Yeah, I know it's gonna be tough to create that on a reality show. ...Tough to do it in a few weeks." There's a long pause. "...I know."

Looking down at her hands, Alex sighs, the wind going out of her. "...I don't know." Her voice has gone soft again, that same vulnerability that only seems to show up in these interviews. "I hope. I hope it is."

-*-

Delia nods, understandingly.

Jonas feels uneasy.

And apparently, he has good reason to.

"I'm gonna go get you a drink, hon, I'll be right back."

Not again. He's not doing this again. As soon as Delia leaves, Jonas follows her out.