Haecceity | Oscar Diaz

13. grass cut low

Gabriella 'Raven' Ramirez

It had been a while since I was able to get a good night's sleep. My mind had been too occupied to allow me much rest. Every time that my eyes shut, I had visions of blood and destruction.

There were mothers dressed in black wailing in sorrow. Gunshots were piercing flesh. Blood splattering, staining the earth.

I could still faintly hear the sound of gunshots. The scent of gunpowder permeated my nostrils. I jumped, startled by the hand that had been placed on my shoulder.

"Hey, you okay?"

'Was I okay?' The answer was no. But I would be.

I whipped around to face the perpetrator, interrupting my train of thought. I let out a sigh, gesturing for him to take a seat beside me. To which he carefully did so.

"I'll be fine. How are you, Sad Eyes?", I retorted, gazing at the view once again.

"I'm straight. It's gang life. You talked to Spooky, foolette?", Sad Eyes said with a nod of his head.

I rolled my eyes. Sad Eyes would be Sad Eyes. He had been right, though. It was all just a part of gang life.

"Yeah. I have been keeping my distance, though. He has been a bit", I paused, trying to think of the best word to describe his recent mood. "Unstable", I state.

Sad Eyes shrugs his shoulders. "Man, that fool is always unstable. The real question is, when is he ever stable? I hope that you and Spook don't fuck around and unleash hell on earth by procreating, fool. Y'all fuck enough to", he commented.

I could do nothing but nod my head in agreement. Not that I would mind having a baby or two of my own. It was just not the best timing, nor did I feel that Oscar and I's relationship was at that point as of yet.

"He knocked my Nuevo Ring outta place at the hospital", I thoughtfully murmured, being too lost in my own head to realize that I had admitted that out loud.

The familiar cackle of Sad Eyes was boisterous as he doubled over in laughter. I found myself cracking a small smile. It was funny, but considering the circumstances and it being me that it happened to, I did not share the same carefree sentiment.

"Foolette, Spook's definitely trying to expand the family. There ain't no damn way", Sad Eyes crackled a bit more.

"That's tough because I'm not no time soon. I at least need a change of last name before then", I said, waving off his comment.

"Women, bruh", Sad Eyes said, causing me to raise an eyebrow questioningly.

He rolled his eyes. "Women always want something in return for doing what they are designed for. You want a fool like me to marry you because or before you become a mother. Yet, you have no problem giving up that pussy for free. Why does everything have to be on y'all's time? Why can't we just enjoy the vibes and be happy? If a kid comes along, then it happens, and we deal with it. It's that simple. We don't have to deal with all the fucking drama y'all kick up", Sad Eyes argued.

I eyed him for a few seconds in disbelief before my mouth finally caught up with my mind. "Nigga, that was some of the most sexist and misogynistic shit I have ever heard. A marriage to the woman that is or would bear your children is the least of your worries. That is not a big ask. Women sacrifice their freedom and bodies for men and their children. So if a woman asks that she carries your last name first, then you damn well better do it. If you cannot give her your last name, then you are undeserving of the sacrifices she will be making to have your child. It is not about moving on anyone's time. Rather, it centers on the point that men view women as incubators, toys, property, maids, and yes, some of y'all's nagging ass mamas too. Men and women do not go through the same pressure from society. Y'all can peacefully bounce from pussy to pussy without repercussions, but if we so much as suck a little dick, we are moralless whores. Step into a woman's shoes next time before you say something so damn inconsiderate", I snidely retorted.