Unknown Number || Kim Seungmin [ON HIATUS]

<15> Goodbye

Tw:  su¡c¡de thoughts, self harm

Reji POV:

*Buzz*

I turned my phone around to see yet another message from an unknown number.

'You're not sleeping yet? Regreting everything now?'

I sighed. Yes I was regretting everything. And yes I was awake at 4am.

'learn how to spell regretting before telling me I'm regretting shit'

I type back. I sometimes had these random conversations with this person just to shut them up.

Of course it didn't work but oh well.

'what were you tryna do there? that was lame lol'

I knew it was. I just didn't know what else to say. I turned onto my side, biting back the tears.

*buzz*

*buzz*

*buzz*

Should I just take it to the police?

How though? How do I go back there without having to face Charlotte or Seungmin at all..

I fucked up. I fucked up. I fucked up.

It's because of me all of this shit is happening.. because of me.

Its because I'm a stupid, jealous, bitch.

It's all my fault..

So would all these problems go away if I do?

Go away to where though?

I don't have any money.

Or should I just.. die.

Meaning, no one would bother with me, no more unknown numbers messing with my brain, no more seeing Seungmin or Charlotte, no more pain.

Should I? Is there a reason to live at this point?

Was there ever a reason to live?

I got up walking towards my bathroom. I looked pale and sick. I barely ate, slept, got out of my room even. I depended on my brother for everything.

I rummage through the drawers trying to find some sort of blade.

This is it? Already?

I let out a small sarcastic laugh without finding anything.

'I'm pathetic, honestly..' I laughed walking towards the kitchen.

I grab the first knife I see running my finger along the edge of it.

Damn.. that's sharp.

I softly press it against my wrist, my heart pounding in my chest.

I'm scared of blood, I'm too fucking weak to do this type of shit.

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath pressing the knife harder against my bony wrist.

Blood oozed out like some sort of waterfall.

I hissed dropping the knife.

'Fuck, how do people do this,' I mumbled clutching my wrist, not daring to look at the blood.

I mean, it felt kind of.. nice.

It hurt but it just let my anger out. I sat down, my back leaning against the counter.

I held the knife in my hand.

The blood looked satisfying in all honesty. I rubbed my thumb over the cut before giving my self another one. Deeper one.

Dizziness hit me, I shut my eyes.

'just kill me already,' I prayed trying to cut myself once again.

But the knife was snatched out of my hands. "Reji what the fuck?!"

I recognised the voice.. unless I was imagining it..

'Seungmin?'