Weird but Fucking Beautiful

Chapter Five: Unbeknownst to me

Cassia pov.

I sit on Ronan's futon with my laptop and books in front of me. He is sitting on the floor in front of me even though I insisted he could sit next to me. He almost acted like it was a crime for him to dare sit beside me. He suggested we come to his house because it would be awkward for us to study at mine with Evie there. I really should dig into that more but I don't wanna pry.

"Can I ask you a question? Non school related" I say looking over at Ronan, he is wearing ripped jeans and a black sweatshirt with his hair slightly messier than on an average day. His brows are furrowed in thought but his brown eyes look up at me after hearing me speak.

"Sure, anything to distract me from school work." He replies with a shrug and leans back a little as he keeps his eye contact.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to but....I was wondering what's going on with you and Evie? I mean you guys were never the closest of siblings growing up but things are definitely very tense between the two of you. I can't even mention it to Evie without getting a death glare" I babble feeling a bit embarrassing asking such an intrusive question. The last thing I want is for him to think I am nosey or something. I start fidgeting with my sweater nervously.

"Umm.. well I guess you're kinda in the middle so you should know.." He begins. "You know that fire that killed mom and Evie's dad?"

"Yeah...it was devastating for Evie. She said you guys loss everything from your childhood pretty much" I say remember the terrible fire that took their parents and childhood home just a week after Evie and I moved down here for college.

"Well....the police are still investigating what exactly caused the fire. They decided that there was some foul play...." He says looking away from me. Foul play? Like a murder.

"Oh no...that's awful" I say putting my hand on his leg in a reassuring way.

"Evie and the cops are convinced it's my dad. I know he'd never do that though. He even swore to me he didn't.. He hated my mom yes, but he'd never do that to me." Ronan explains. I can see the hurt in his eyes and it makes my heart break for him.

"I am so sorry Ronan" I say getting up and moving so I can give him a hug. I am not really sure what else to do to comfort him. "For what it's worth I believe he didn't do it. I am sure they'll sort this whole mess out. I really hope Evie's comes to her senses soon too"

"Yeah.. I hope so too" Ronan mumbles as he gives me one of his rare, but genuine hugs back. I relish his genuine hug so I kind of hang in the hug. Maybe this is another piece to the puzzle of saving Ronan from an unfortunate fate. Maybe if I can fix his relationship with Evie then the crash won't happen. Ronan is such a sweet guy, he deserves good things. Plus his rare hugs are some of the best. He also smells really nice even though a lot of people say weed smells really bad I think he smells good. He is really handsome...I can't believe myself. I cannot be falling for Ronan right now. For one he is Evie's brother and for two I am here to save him not to date him!

Ronan's pov.

Even though I normally hate hugs and really any touch. I am starting to grow accustom to the ones Cassia has to offer. They're comforting and warm. She smells like vanilla and strawberries. Her skin is really soft and she kind of fits perfectly in my arms. I pull back coming to my senses. Ronan you can't hit on Cassia she is kind of the one person off limits I rebuke myself. Cassia however stays sitting next to me looking as beautiful as ever. She isn't wearing make up or if she is she didn't cover up her freckles today which less than her normal cover up of them does.

"You're gonna be the death of me, Cassia" I say pushing a piece of her hair out of her face and behind her ear. She blushes turning a rosy red.

"You probably shouldn't say things like that" she says putting her hand on mine which was lingering near her hair.

"Why? Scared of death or something?" I chuckle out looking over at her. I still am not used to this sudden obsession she's seemed to have since the party. She tenses a little before dropping my gaze.

"I don't know...something like that I guess...I just keep having these dreams...I probably shouldn't talk about them them with you " She says being a bit vague and strange as she has been around the whole thing. How does she manage to be cute even when she is giving me weird cryptic messages about how she thinks I am going to die....or fears it I guess.

"You are always here for me and non judgmental, I got a DUI and you still supported me. You can tell me anything Cassia." I say looking straight down at her. I want her to truly understand how much I appreciate and want to return everything she has done for me. Cassia fidgets with the hem of her sweater still not looking at me.

"I just keep having these really vivid dreams of people I care about dying...mostly you honestly. But also kind of everyone....even myself sometimes" She says barely above a whisper and pretty much refusing to look at me at this point. Like she is speaking words she shouldn't be.

"Damn, that's gotta be intense.. If you ever need to stay here and have me on the futon in case you have one you can wake me up, or anything else I can do to support you I really want to help." I almost plead with her. I would hate to be plagued with that every time I went to sleep. She gives me a smile.

"Thanks Ronan, I might take you up on that" She says still in a softer than normal voice. I suddenly notice like I just looked at her for the first time again that she seems exhausted it is written all over her face, and she has definitely loss weight in the last few days. Probably from how little I have seen her eat. I think back to the dinning hall when she left a full tray of food on the table.