Weird but Fucking Beautiful

Chapter 8: Life is Emotionally Abusive

Ronan's pov.

When we get back to my place Cassia decides she wants to stay over which is fine by me. A part of me hopes Chris and Connor don't come home tonight instead staying at Chris' parents house like they do sometimes after parties. I take a shower as soon as we get back to the house. I notice in the mirror that Cassia is right I do look a little beat up. I have a black eye, some bruising on my torso, and my lip was definitely bleeding. I am sure Connor looks way worse though. I can't get the fight out of my head no matter how much I want to. I really shouldn't have gone off on him like that and Cassia seeing it.

She is scared of you. You can't control that temper of yours. You're ruining yourself. You're ruining her.

That's not true I try to tell myself. I am just thinking that because I am upset and angry still. I sigh getting into the warm water. I try not to take a long shower because I don't know when or if they will be back. When I am done I get dressed in some grey sweaatpants and a black shirt.

I walk back over to my room and knock to make sure Cassia isn't changing. She has started keeping some stuff over at my place now just to make it easier on nights when she stays here to get good sleep. Cassia opens my bedroom door wearing a big pink t-shirt and shorts. Her hair is in a braid now and she has taken her makeup off.

"Did your shower help you feel better?" She asks me.

"Much better." I reassure her with a nod as I step into my, but what weirdly feels like our room at times. As confusing as it is at times, I do love our innocent nights together. Being able to help her sleep and laugh and just enjoy this extra time with Cassia is something I don't ever want to take for granted.

Extra time? You're controlling her life. How often does she see people who aren't you?

"Wanna watch a movie before we go to bed or are you tired already?" Cassia asks pulling me from the somewhat unsettling thoughts I am having. She sits down on the edge of the bed. I sit down beside her and leans on me a bit. I put my arm around her waist. She is a very comforting presence to have around.

"Of course, any movie requests?" I ask jumping at the opportunity of getting out my head. I have my fair share of self deprecating thoughts, probably way more than my fair share if I am honest... but these? These feel different. Darker. I'd watch the worst lifetime movies on repeat to get away from them. Hopefully Cassie won't notice I'll need her help to sleep like she does mine this time...

"What about mean girls!" She suggest smiling at me. I put the movie on and then we sit back on the bed to get more comfortable. Cassia cuddles up to me in a way hurts the bruises on my stomach a little but I try not to let it show. While we are watching the movie I eventually hear the sounds of either Chris or Connor coming home. Cassia tenses a little when she hears the front door close.

See she is scared of you because she saw you beat Connor up. You can justify it by saying you did it to protect her or defend her but you're the only reason she needs defending. You're ruining her reputation. You're ruining her.

"You okay Row?" Cassia says calling me back from the thoughts again.

"Uh yeah.." I begin trying to give myself some time to come up with an explanation that's not insane self deprication." Just hoping it was Chris not Conner that got home." I explain, hoping she won't press any further. She nods taking my examination. Whoever happened to come home knocks on my bedroom door. Cassia sits up and pauses the movie. I get up and go open the door. Sighing a breath of relief when I see it's just Chris.

"Hey...I need to talk to you. Do you have a moment?" He ask seeming awkward and nervous. 

"Uh yeah sure." I say giving him a confused look and taking a step out into the hallway with him. I close the door behind me and look down at him. "What's up?"