Weird but Fucking Beautiful

Chapter 10: Fake It

Ronan's pov.

The weekend goes by painfully slowly, I try to keep myself busy, but I just want to hang out with Cassia like I normally do. At the same time, I am terrified to see her again. The extremely degrading thoughts are only getting worse and what if she wants to talk about the fact she admitted she has a crush on me?

I am no good for her. I mean since she started hanging out with me more she has had so much happen to her. I can tell not seeing me is affecting her too though, like I am ruining her life when I am around her and when I stay away. I am not sure which one is the best option. I don't want to hurt her at all.

You never can seem to keep from hurting people you care about. Every choice you make is laced with regret and poor thinking.

I sigh in frustration at thoughts that won't leave me alone. At least I have therapy today. I head to the coffee shop where I told Evie I would meet her because she decided to message me yesterday asking to talk. When I get there I find Evie sitting with the same guy she has been committing great acts of PDA with that I have unfortunately seen too many times. I sit down at the table with them.

"Why did you wanna meet up? And why is he here?" I ask confused.

"Well, I wanted to talk because we have been so distant lately. I think we should fix things!" She says not sounding like Evie at all, she is smiling and sounding nonhostile towards me for the first time in months.

"This is Greyson! He is my boyfriend. I figured you should meet him!" She continued and Greyson gave me a wave. I have met him when you were too busy sucking his face off to help Cassia at a party which is why I'm in this complicated situation with her in the first place I think bitterly but offer up a smile instead. I shouldn't go ruining this weird and random urge that Evie has to be in my life again. She is my sister after all.

"Hi Greyson, do you think I could talk to my sister alone for a minute?" I ask turning to him.

"Oh yeah sure," he says and then stands up to walk away. I watch to be sure he's out of earshot then take a long deep breath. I don't want to fight with Evie anymore. I never did. I never wanted this, but I can't just choose to throw my dad away like everyone else has when I just have absolutely no doubt in my mind he is innocent. I don't expect her to understand, or even support me in that aspect, but we both lost our parents. I need my sister, and I hope she needs me too.

"Evie.. you're my sister, you are always gonna be one of my top priorities, but that doesn't mean we are gonna agree on everything. You don't have to think my dad is innocent like I do and will continue to do, but I don't want to fight with you anymore. It sucks ass what happened to Mom and Tom, but can we just not fight who did it? If my dad did you know damn well I had nothing to do with it, and if I am right and he didn't I don't wanna lose a sister to get my dad back." I ramble, hoping my jumbled words filled with raw emotions will make some semblance of sense to her to just put an end to this stupid feud. I don't want her to hate me for loving my dad like she would hers.

"Of course Ron, I want to stop fighting as well...I am sorry for being so rude to you about the whole situation...I just really wanted someone to blame I guess so when they said it wasn't an accident...It was easy to hate who they were blaming and it was easier to get mad at you for defending Jerry than it was to accept maybe all of this just sucks. I am sorry Ronan, I don't wanna lose my brother" Evie says looking almost like she could cry, I reach over and grab her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze and nod. After a few moments of silence, Evie clears her throat and continues. "Now that we have that part out of the way I was wanting to talk to you about some else. A certain golden-haired birdie told me that you may or may not be down a roomie. I know you can't afford that place on your own sooooo I was thinking maybe you could see if Greyson was a good fit. He is trying to get away from his shitty roommate right now" Instantly turning back into typical Evie, the sister I've missed so much. I am surprised Cassia would tell her about Connor moving but I guess I shouldn't be since they are best friends.