Islamic stories

To A Stronger Me II

Please read the previous chapter first as this will not make sense otherwise.

" You say you feel envious?" the gentle voice of Mrs zama bounced in the silent room.
Aadila let the question roll around in her head as she gazed listlessly at the bright white ceiling. The burnt orange couch she was draped over threatend to pull her into a restless sleep. Aadila fought against it and finally decided on her answer.

"Yes I do, how could they look so beautiful? Why do they look like super models and I look like this?"
Aadila sounded bitter even to her own ears. But the truth was the truth and that was the purpose of therapy.

Somehow Aadila had managed. It had been 6 months, since her separation that wasn't a divorced. Sameer had clarified that he had walked away but he had not give her any talak. Aadila started to work the moment she'd felt healthy enough. She had taken a small loan from her father and started her little business of running websites. With the grace of Allah alone she was able to make enough money to pay her daughter's fees, and cover just about all her necessities.
Therapy being one of them.

It was her 5th visit. Aadila was determined to heal herself and become better. It was foolishly optimistic of her to think that if she crammed her sessions she would heal faster, but it was what it was.

"I don't think that's envy, I believe you see perfection in everything that's not you. You feel ugly because you were cheated on. You feel insignificant because it was you that he didn't give enough attention to. That is not envy Aadila that's insecurity. You feel everyone is better, more perfect because he made you feel like that. "Mrs. Zama's voice was firm. Her tone not rising, or dropping. In a way it was soothing.
Aadila blinked hard, willing the tears to stay away.
" But there is envy somewhere! I cannot look at any girl without asking why I can't have that. Take you for example. Everytime I look at you Zama I feel jealous . Why do you have so pretty lips? Why are mine so thin? I want to have perfect lips! I want to be perfect! So why do you get to be perfect? Why can't I?"
The tears Aadila tried so hard to keep at bay spilled out in heavy drops. A pain so fierce stabbed through Aadila's heart.
"Breathe Aadila, deep breaths. In...... And... Out.... In.... And out." warm hands helped her into a sitting position and held her in a comforting hug.
Eventually she calmed down.
Mrs. Zama spoke one last thing that kept Aadila's mind reeling.
" You belive your God made every thing perfect. The same God who has no flaws made you Aadila, and thus you are perfect. You have unique features Aadila. You are perfect and beautiful in your own way. Only once you belive it, will you understand how perfectly imperfect you are."

Aadila thought it over, obviously every creation was created beautifully. Even if we don't see it in snakes, or snails they are perfect, they play a part, they are perfect for what they meant to do. And the same Allah created her. With her wide hips, belly fat, and thin lips. Allah never created something that wasn't perfect. Aadila entertained that thought untill she pulled into the school parking lot. The garde R teacher, Miss Ahmed sat elegantly watching over the children. Her fair skin shone in the sun, not a single pimple marring her perfect face. She wore a deep maroon abaya that sat elegantly over her slim form. She was beautiful. It didn't help that she was one of the woman Sameer had complimented continuously and mentioned that if he would take a second wife he would want her, Miss Ahmed or someone like her. With a heavy heart and a blurred mind Aadila only manged a nod in her direction. The seconds felt like minutes as time dragged and Aadila drowned in her mind.

A startled scream left Aadila's lips when she felt someone wrap their arms around her. Aaliay had entered the car while her mother had been deep in thought.
"Sorry Ummi, I didn't mean to scare you. But it was sooo worth it." Aaliya's sweet voice was a cool wave that crushed onto the flames Aadila had thrown herself in. With an easy smile Aadila started to converse with her daughter.