My Spy

Duel

Jackson quickly glances over his shoulder and we both know he is looking for Whitney. He nods his head to move to the side of the barn and I reluctantly follow. I should know better than to walk with him but my curiosity gets the better of me. It's still warm out, but even my plaid long sleeve doesn't prevent anxious goosebumps from suddenly covering my arms. When we are around the corner, away from the entrance of the barn Jackson turns to face me and he rocks back on his heels, clearly nervous.

"I just, um. I just really wanted to tell you that..." He's having a hard time meeting my eyes, which makes me stare triumphantly. "Um, well look Sawyer, I know this means nothing now, but I am sorry," he finally spits out. "I haven't figured out a way to genuinely show or tell you that I am so sorry how things happened between us. I just-" I fold my arms while cutting him off.

"It does mean nothing Jackson. You can say you are sorry a thousand times but it will never fix what you did to me. I was blindsided. I had a few suspicions throughout our relationship but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be Whitney." I swallow hard and Jackson slides his hands down his face- messing up his tidy dark hair. He blows out a loud breath of air before replying, "I know. But I have to confess, I wouldn't be with her if she wasn't pregnant." His confession feels like a punch to the stomach. It feels like it should be a victory but it's not. And what's worse, I don't know if he's expecting me to be happy over his confession.

"So, you were just sleeping with her? You weren't in love with her?" I ask, catching the frog in my throat. He looks to the ground as he shakes his head.

"No, and she knew I wasn't. I told her I wouldn't leave you and two months later, she told me she was pregnant. I think she stopped using protection, knowing that would be the only way to keep me around for good." I flit my eyes away from him, as I can no longer stand the sight of him. I feel like my heart has been crushed all over again. I haven't let him speak to me since I confronted him in the groom's suite at our wedding venue. I had found Whitney throwing up right after I had slipped into my dress and Annabeth jokingly asked if she was "preggers." I had no idea that that comment would lead me to punching her in the face and sprinting in a wedding gown across Deerwood Gardens to go confront a clueless groom.

"So you ruined our life together to get some side action from my best friend?" I seethe. "I almost would have been able to live with it if you two had fallen in love and wanted more than anything to be together. I can't believe you ruined us for a hook up." Jackson grabs his face again and shakes his head. He looks to me as he softly says, "I made my bed right? I got what was coming to me." I nod and I know I still have a scowl on my face. He shrugs and then adds, "My parents would never let me have some, love child ya know? They are the ones that pressured me into marrying her." I shake my head at him with my jaw slightly dropped and now I am furious.

"I don't buy that Jackson; your mother and I became close and she never approved of Whitney as my friend so I doubt she'd approve of her as your wife."

"She said she'd rather have me marry her than deal with her as the mother of my child. You know Whitney would make my life hell if I didn't marry her. This isn't what I want," Jackson whines and I can see his pain- but it doesn't soften my nasty grimace.

"Jackson, even if Whitney wasn't pregnant, I would have found out you were sleeping around and I would have left you," I say with a shrug. "So regardless of how you feel now, our outcome would have always been the same. Because if you truly loved me, you would have never touched her or anyone else in the first place."

"I did love you Sawyer, hell I still do!" Jackson pleads but I shake my head as I take a step away from him. I don't want to hear this. This is why I have made him stay away. After weeks of sobbing and despair, I cannot listen to him say those words to me. I glare at him and seethe, "It's taken you what, two months to say anything to me. Why now? Why are you saying anything to me now?"

"I've wanted to contact you sooner but Whitney is always around and I can't say anything around her," he says as he takes a step toward me. "And when I saw you at the costume store with that guy, I knew I messed up. The thought of you with any guy just kills me. You should have been with me."

"I was with you you idiot!" I shriek. "I was everything you wanted me to be and that wasn't enough. So now, you can watch me move on and I can watch you stay stuck in a loveless marriage. You two deserve each other." I am about to walk back into the barn before my tears spill over but Jackson grabs my elbow to spin me around.

"Sawyer, wait please. You need to know how I feel." I look at his hand on me and he has a tight grip around my arm- he's not letting me walk away from him.

"I don't have to know anything Jackson. You've said enough. Now let go of my arm," I warn but his tight grip remains on me. Like he isn't ready to let go. I am startled when I hear Ryan's voice behind me.

"Remove your hand from her arm or I will break your hand off." I glance over my shoulder and catch Ryan glaring at Jackson.

"We're fine. Mind your own business man," Jackson snaps but this only makes Ryan come closer. Jackson drops his hand from my arm and from the look Ryan is giving Jackson, he made the right choice.

"She is my business. And she told you to let her go. I knew you were stupid but I didn't think you were deaf," Ryan grits and my eyes widen. Jackson suddenly looks bewildered as he stumbles for a comeback.

"Do you have any idea who I am? You better watch what you say to me." Ryan's eyes narrow and the look he's giving Jackson is truly terrifying. His square jaw stands out in the dim lighting and he has his shoulders forward, looking like he can snap Jackson in half.

"Your last name doesn't scare me." Ryan says lowly, bringing his voice even deeper. "Now it's time for you to go back inside. Your pregnant fiancée is looking for you." Jackson glares at Ryan, but his look doesn't compete with the one Ryan gives back. Jackson looks to me, waiting for me to say something but I just fold my arms and remain silent. I secretly love watching Jackson get his ass handed to him and I wouldn't mind if Ryan continued to belittle him. Jackson huffs as he realizes I am not going to stick up for him. He stalks off back toward the barn while my hands shake with fury. Ryan looks to me but he stays at a distance.

"Thanks for the pest control," I joke to Ryan after Jackson is out of earshot and he inches forward.

"You okay?" He asks me quietly and I stare at him, unable to come up with a response. I feel my eyebrows pinch together and I'm sure I am displaying my confusion. I don't have a clue as to how I feel right now. My silence unexpectedly brings Ryan over to me and he gently wraps his arms around me before pulling me into him. I let out a deep breath, exhaling all of my twisted emotions out and I slightly shake my head. He finally pulls away from me and uses his thumb to wipe a frustrated tear off my cheek.

"I can still go break his hand off if you want?" Ryan jokes and I let out a light laugh, "No. I might take a rain check on that though." I bite my lip and look to Ryan, "Hey, if there is anything I can do to help you take down the Carmichaels please tell me. I want that bitch to burn." Ryan looks at me, fully understanding my words and then nods his head. I start to walk away from him, but I turn around when I remember something.

"Oh Ryan, I know you want to keep yourself at a distance but you should still come to Founder's Day. Kenny Carmichael usually makes an appearance and so does Simon." I turn back away from him and start walking to the barn when he calls out to me.

"Wait Sawyer." I stop in my tracks and look to him. He continues, "The lady on the mic said something about a two-step contest on Saturday night?"

I nod, "Yeah, after the initial dance there is a contest. The first dance is lame but the contest is actually kind of a big deal." He starts toward me and with a small smile he asks, "Wanna win it?" All my tears are suddenly dried up and his smile makes my heart skip a beat.

"More than anything."

"Then let's go dance," Ryan says and he grabs my hand as he leads me back into the barn.