My Spy

Fancy Like

I feel like I am on the fluffiest puff of cloud sailing across the blue sky on a warm spring day. I'm weightless and I keep feeling like I might barf up butterflies I have so many swarming around in my stomach at the moment.

I'm sprawled out on Ryan's bed, just soaking up the pure bliss I am currently feeling. I look to my right and watch his chest slowly rise and fall with each breath he takes. His eyelids flutter and I wonder what he dreams of. I use my finger to trace a line down the side of his face and I know once his eyes open, the moment will be over and all I'll be clinging on to is memories.

I am trying not to be enraptured by him but my heart explodes every time his eyes meet mine. I've tried to remind myself over and over that he'll be leaving as soon as the case is closed and they are hoping for that to be as early as next week. He told me he was leaving and reminds me about the inevitable, but I try to push it from my mind when we are together, tangled up in the sheets, or in last night's case, the truck.

A whole other side of Ryan comes out when we are alone behind closed doors and a selfish part of me is glad he doesn't show it to the rest of the world. He's witty, charming, funny and so gentle with me when it's just us two. Which is the exact opposite of the rough shell he protects himself with during the day.

I've become enamored but I try and shake it away seeing that I still hardly know anything about him- and he is intent on it staying that way. He's trying to remind me in all ways that we can't fall for each other, that that will never be an option for us. He drills it into my head that his job doesn't allow relationships and I continue to lie to myself and agree that this is a fling that will fizzle when he leaves. That this is temporary and doesn't have the option of becoming permanent.

Before my mother, Austin or the universe can ruin this moment I decide to end it myself. I pull part of myself off the bed, so my legs remain on the mattress as my arms crawl around on the floor, reaching for his shirt that lies by the nightstand. I pull my torso back onto the bed and quickly tug on his white cotton V-neck. His scent surrounds me as I pull the fabric to my face to try and tie it to my memory- so I have something to convince myself that this was real after we are forced back into reality.

I look to him once more and push the covers away from me. I grab my clothing and tiptoe over to his door. As quietly as I can, I inch the door open wide enough to use one eye to check to see if the coast is clear. I run my eye down the hallway and the house is quiet. I stick my head out and see Austin's and my mother's doors are still shut. As fast as I can, I dart back into my room and slowly press my door shut.

A scream almost escapes my mouth when I turn around. I curse myself for being startled by the black garment bag that my mother had hung on my closet door. She must have picked up our gowns while I was at rehearsal last night and left it in my room to find when I came home. I drop my bundle of clothing on the floor and stride over to the thick plastic cover. I tug on the zipper at the top and slowly pull the tab all the way down the bag.

Rose pink fabric spills out of the small opening and I pull half of the plastic back. I run my hand over the ruffles and see small, white lace gloves attached to the hanger. My mother made sure I had the most flattering gown and I have to admit, it's the best gown I have ever worn to Founder's Day. I stuff the fabric and the petticoat back inside the bag and zip it back up.

It will be nice to partially spend the day with Ryan and we are allowed to be somewhat flirtatious, as I have already told Austin that I want to convince the town I've moved on. I still need to be cautious, since I cannot have him suspect anything. Nothing will evaporate my cloud faster than Austin finding out about me and Ryan.

I enjoy my shower and notice I spend a few extra minutes picking out my clothing for the day. I pull out a pencil skirt that's been hiding in my closet for a while and pair it with a bright top that flatters my light skin tone. I pull some statement jewelry from my collection and my mother will be glad to see me wearing Grandmother Tilly's pearl earrings. I grab a rose-pink lipstick off of my vanity and pop my lips loudly when I'm finished applying it. I'm also pretty proud that I managed to get my winged liner straight and the dramatic look makes my blue eyes shine off my alabaster skin. I twist my long blonde hair up into a nice bun and I hardly recognize myself when I stand in front of my full-length mirror once I am all put together.

Since my break up, I had found comfort in sweatpants and tank tops so much so that I've forgotten what it feels like to feel pretty. I decide to take my flattering ensemble along with my confident attitude into town and go shop for a bit. I've been hiding out from everyone since Whitney and Jackson's engagement picture was featured in the Herald and I have decided not to care what the town thinks anymore. They can whisper about me all they want and I will no longer let it bother me.

Once I fasten the ankle straps on my sleek nude heels, I make my way downstairs and Ryan literally chokes on his coffee when he sees me. Austin follows his gaze and decides to act like a big brother.

"Where are you goin' all fancy like? This is Hollis, not Paris or wherever they wear...all...that. You can't walk around like that." I roll my eyes at him as I pull a lemonade from the fridge. I spin around to face him and reply, "Walk around like what? A lady? It's a skirt Austin, not a negligee." I start walking out of the kitchen as I add, "I'm going into town, I'll be back in a few." I steal a glance to Ryan and I notice the corners of his mouth turn up slightly. He runs his eyes over me and I wave to Austin as I leave the kitchen.