My Spy

Big Brother

I'm swinging my arms and once again humming to myself as I make the long walk back to my house after predicting the killer correctly. The heat is finally bearable, so I'm not as sweaty as this afternoon but my feet now ache from crunching the gravel underneath me for so long. I hear the bumbling of a rusty pickup truck pulling up behind me and as I glance back, I shield my eyes from the bright headlights. The navy-blue Ford slows down beside me so I slow my pace. If this were anywhere else I'd panic and wander further into the tree line, but I know everyone in Hollis and I know that beat-up truck real well. 

"Well hey there sweet Sawyer of mine, wanna ride back to your house?" Gus Blackwood asks. "I'm heading that way now." His tone is laced with flirtation and a thick southern twang. I contemplate riding with an over-eager flirt or walking anymore in the dust. My feet tell me to hop my ass in the truck; so, I swing over to pop his passenger door open. I slide into the bouncy seat and it takes my whole upper body to slam the heavy metal door shut.

"Ya know, a pretty little thing such as yourself shouldn't be walking around alone at night," he jokes. "Ya never know what creepy crawlies can be out here waitin' to get ya." He tickles me with his hand and I shake my head at his comment.

"I think I can handle myself, but thanks for looking out for me," I reply and I see his worried chocolate-brown eyes dart to me every few minutes of the drive.

"Ya know I always got your back," he says and I know his comment has a double meaning. Since I've been back at my parent's house, I have shut everyone out including him. I've known Gus since we were in grammar school, and behind all of his philandering come-ons is a soft spot for me and a good heart. We became best friends years ago, and even though he always wanted more from this friendship, I could never take it there. He's tried reaching out a few times over these past few weeks but I haven't been ready to talk yet. I worry once we start talking, he'll make it clear that he'd date me in a second, and I cannot go there with him. My headspace is so not there. 

I nod back to him and after a few minutes of odd silence, his loud voice fills the truck.

"So you're still back at your parents for now then?" He asks and I nod my head once again.

"Yes, sir! I'm back at Casa de Sweeney, walking on eggshells around my mother until a suitable gentlemen calla comes to sweep me off my feet," I joke back to him and his boyish dimples make me smile. He tugs at one of his chestnut-colored curls as he drives, which I learned back when he was playing baseball is one of his nervous ticks.

"Ya know Sawyer, my sweets, I'm still single and my massive arms can sweep ya off your feet with ease," he half-jokes as we pull into the long road that creates my driveway. He flexes his arm that's peeking out from his cut-off flannel shirt and bounces his eyebrows up and down. I give him a warm smile, but I know I have to let his big heart down easy. That comment right there is why I have been dodging him. 

"Sorry to break it to ya Gus, but I do not see myself dating ever again and you'll forever be like a big brother to me. And even though we live in the south, I can't date my brother." Gus jokingly snaps his fingers in disappointment and I'm sure I just punched him in the heart. As we move further up my driveway, I see a sleek white Audi parked under the wide portico and suddenly I am the one getting punched in the heart. I haven't seen that Audi or the owner in months, so I immediately become suspicious.

"Speaking of big brothers, looks like Austin is home," Gus observes and I stare at the car as we get closer. Momma didn't say my brother would be home tonight or she would have been scurrying around the house all day, prepping for his arrival. 

"Yeah, didn't know he was coming into town," I confess.

"I still can't believe he showed back up here drivin' something as ridiculous as that. We drive trucks 'round these parts." He spats with a smile and I can't help but grin.

"Come on Gus, Austin has never acted like a proper country boy. There is a reason he high-tailed it outta here all those years ago." He pulls up in front of the brick staircase that leads to the patio and I flick my head in his direction.

"Well, thanks for saving me from all the creepy crawlies, Gussy. Shall I be seeing you at LulaBelle's brunch tomorrow for some torture?"

"You're coming out of hiding then? Gonna face the townsfolk?" He asks in surprise.

I nod, "I went to a fundraiser last night because my mother dragged me there by my ear. I already crawled out of my hole for a few hours to go be gawked at. It was torture my mother ended up paying a lot of money for."

He nods his head as he says, "LulaBelle's will be much of the same then, I'm sure." I laugh and then he adds, "Sawyer, seeing that you are my best friend and you are back to bein' less than a couple minutes away from my place, you can always drop by to hang out. I never mind havin' ya around." He smiles that lopsided smile I love so much and a pit falls into my stomach.

I flit my eyes back at him and quietly reply, "I know Gus, I'm sorry I haven't really been around. It's just been kind of hard to socialize lately. It took me weeks to even look at my phone."

"I know sugar, but I've missed ya. Don't hide from the world forever. People miss you," he says as he looks at me with his kind eyes. I muster up a smile for him and regret shutting him out these past few weeks. I know I can lean on Gus, I know he can shove aside his feelings for me if I need him to, I just hate giving him hope. 

As gracefully as I can, I slide out of his truck and shut the creaking door behind me. His headlights illuminate the walk up the steps to the front door and I don't bother climbing back through my window since by now, Momma knows I left. I wave to Gus as I push the knob to my front door open and I hear loud laughter coming from the back of the house.