My Spy

Philly

I fidget all through lunch. My brain keeps reminding me of my conversation with Kenny and I am consumed by what was said. My mother snaps her fingers at me and I snap to attention, "What mother? Sorry, I didn't hear you." She frowns as she shoots laser beams from her eyes.

"I asked if you were free to do tea with Betty here later this week. Why am I even askin' of course you are." My mother's attention goes back to her and Mrs. Samuels's conversation and I catch Tate's eye. He leans over to me and asks, "Are you alright? You've been jumpy since you came back." I nod, maybe a little to enthusiastically and reply, "Yes, I am fine. I think I am bothered by the heat today. I have a headache." I'm mad at myself for not giving Tate my full attention but I can't stop worrying about Austin and Ryan. I swore to myself I wouldn't think about Ryan again and now my mind is consumed with him. I just need to refocus back on Tate. Just stare at his yummy face and let the daydreaming take over.

"Well today has been an absolute delight. We all must do this again sometime," my mother sweetly says to the table and Mrs. Samuels and Tate both smile in agreement.

"Yes Sawyer, I look forward to seeing you at the Botanical Gardens grand opening!" Mrs. Samuels says and even though I have no idea what she's talking about I reply, "So looking forward it!" I try and seem convincing with my smile but I feel like everyone knows I am a mess. I'm the girl that had it all, got jilted at the altar and is now a big embarrassing mess.

I politely hug Mrs. Samuels goodbye and Tate and I promise to stay in touch. My mother and I walk out of the country club together and as soon we are in the confines of her car, she clicks her tongue at me.

"Sawyer my dear, why can we never have one pleasant social outing? Why must you always sabotage yourself?" I look to her and she notices my confusion, "Sawyer, you need to get yourself together. I think Tate is a real potential suitor but you hardly seemed interested."

"I am interested. I am the one that set the date up! I just got distracted," I reply, annoyed to be defending myself to my mother as always.

"Darlin', you were born a Sweeney. You have the name, the genes, the education, the wealth- but you don't have the poise. I can't buy you class Sawyer. There are some things you need to do on your own. I feel like since you've left the Hemmings, you've slipped back into your old ways. You were cursing on the course, and you almost flung your club across the green. And heavens, what were you thinking ordering a glass of wine at lunch? We were at the country club, not a strip club." I scoff, knowing my mother is overreacting and I shake my head to her in response.

"Betty doesn't mind nearly as much as you think she does. That and I was under the Hemming's thumb for years, I'm just letting loose and having fun."

"Yes Sawyer, and speaking of letting loose, I know Austin is aware of you and Ryan. You knew that wasn't going to end well. I should have put a stop to it when I figured it out but I must say, I enjoyed seeing you happy." My shoulders slightly drop and I clench my jaw shut. Not wanting to talk about Ryan I change the subject.

"Tate said I could come visit him in Philadelphia. I might take him up on the offer." My mother nods while keeping her gaze to the road.

"I think you should. Go and lock it down. He's a catch Sawyer and you my girl are running out of viable options. Gus might be the only one to take you if you ruin your chances with Tate." I roll my eyes at her knowing she would never let me marry Gus. Even though he's turned out to be a better option than Jackson.

"I will do my best mother. Don't worry, your disaster of a daughter will marry eventually. And if not, you can always come visit me and my thirty cats." She scoffs at me but doesn't say anything else. She's putting all of her eggs in my basket because Austin has made it clear, he has no intentions of marrying anyone. He blames work and a lack of interest in the women in South Carolina. So, I have to be the one to continue the Sweeney line. Her beautiful, blonde southern belle daughter that she raised to be royalty is damaged goods. The fragile Sweeney legacy is being held in my shaky fingers.