My glimpse of Paradise

Chapter one: him

Jannah Ziani

I heard one of the most peaceful Iqamah's for the salah as I was wandering around campus searching for the prayer room. My eyes closed momentarily enjoying this moment. May Allah put barakah in the life of the person who's calling for the prayer. 'Jannah, wait for me'. I turned around and there was my ukhti fi deen and best friend. 'Rahma, hurry up. The iqamah is already being called.' 'Sorry, I was searching for the prayer room.' It really doesn't help us that they change the prayer room almost every day, but I am grateful. At least we get a place where we can pray Alhamdulillah. 'I do get it Rahma, but Alhamdoulillah that we have a place to pray.' We enter the prayer room and stand next to the other girls which we greeted with the Salam. 'Allahu Akbar' my concentration went immediately to my prayer. The recitation was very beautifull Allahouma Barek, but you could tell that it wasn't the same person who called the prayer that was leading the prayer. 'Assalamu 3alaikum warahmatu Allah, Assalamu 3alaikum warahmatu Allah'. 

We finished praying duhr and I stood up and went to a corner with a quran in my hands. 'Jannah aren't you coming with us to go eat?' Rahma asked me. 'No thank you, I'm fasting.' 'Oh, should I stay with you?' I smiled at my best friend. 'No, go eat something. I know that you don't like to eat breakfast so don't starve yourself because of me. I'm going to read some quran'. She nodded her head. 'Do you need something for iftaar? We still have class until 19pm and maghreb is at 17pm.' 'No Jazaki Allahu khairan, I got some dates and water. That is enough'. She frowned. 'Okay, see you later. Text me if you need anything!' 

I opened the quran and went to one of my favorite surahs, Ar Rahman. As I was about to start reciting this surah, someone beat me to it. I could tell that it was the same person who was calling the iqamah. He has such an unique voice. 'Fabi Ayyi Ala i Rabbikuma Tukazziban' Then which of the favors of your Lord will you deny? My eyes started tearing up. We always seem to forget the blessings that we have been blessed with. This ayah always goes straight into my heart. Allah asks us directly of the blessings that we have and can't deny. We always have to be grateful for everything that we have even if it's very little. I recited silently along with him until the end of the surah and then started reading from my quran until it was time for asr. Not as many people came to pray this time as almost everyone has class. I stood up and went to pray. My phone started ringing right after I finished. It was as if the person knew that I was praying. 'Assalamu 3alaikum Rahma, everything okay?' 'Wa3alaikum Salam, yes yes Alhamdoulillah I just wanted to check on you. Are you okay?' 'I am good Alhamdoulillah. What about you? Where are you?' 'I'm heading back to campus. Do I need to bring some food for you?' 'Rahma I told you it isn't necessary I have some dates and water to break my fast that will be enough In Shaa Allah.'

Male's pov

After giving the salam I heard a girl talk to probably a friend of hers. She was saying that she has dates and water to break her fast and her friend is probably trying to get her something. I stood up and hurried to the nearest food place. I got a donut, juice and a salad for her as I didn't know what else to get. I don't even know how the girl looks like, but I will leave it at the door with a note saying it's for the one fasting. As I wanted to put the food before the door, the door swung open.

Jannah Ziani

I wanted to take a little walk before the next class so I put the quran at it's place and got up packing my things. When I opened the door, someone was already standing there with a food bag. 'Oh sorry' I lowered my gaze and wanted to pass him until he said something. 'Sorry, can I ask you something. Are you the one who's fasting and was talking to a friend earlier on the phone?' I looked up surprised and saw that he was already lowering his gaze. I lowered my gaze and said 'Yes, how do you know it?' 'I heard it by accident. Your friend is right, you should eat something more than dates so I got you this.' He handed me the bag without touching me at all. 'Oh, you really didn't have to. Jazakallahu khairan.' He nodded and hurried away. There was something about him that triggered me. I opened the bag and looked at what's inside. Subhana Allah it is as he knew me, I like everything that's inside the bag. I headed out of campus to the park nearby. It is very peaceful and a place where I can think about everything. Suddenly my thoughts went to a specific person. I uttered a sigh and made a dua for him. You won't believe me if I say that I don't even know what his name is. It was a silly crush from middle school. I wonder how he's doing now as he suddenly disappeared from our school. Anyway, years passed and life changed. Alhamdulillah for everything.

I headed out of campus after my last class together with Rahma. We went together as we lived two streets from each other. 'Don't you know him at all?' Rahma asked me again after I told her what happened. 'I really don't know who he was. It was like I knew him from somewhere, but I can't say from where.' Rahma thought a little bit. 'I wouldn't know it either.' it was pretty dark as it was the beginning of November so we are dealing with winter hours. I recognized my brother's car from far away and walked over there. 'Assalamu Alaikum' I greeted him and he responded to my salaam. Rahma turned towards me and looked like she wanted to bid me farewell. 'No no no, we'll drop you home. Look at how dark it is. There is no way you're walking home Rahma.' 'Jannah, no I don't want to trouble you guys with me. It's not a problem.' 'Deen please talk some sense into her. Rahma just get in please. You know I won't let you go alone.' Deen came in between us 'My sister is right, Rahma. We can't let you go alone. If I do so, then Jannah won't be the only one ripping me apart. My mom would kill me ' Deen tried to joke. 'Okay, if it isn't a trouble for you.' 'Not at all.' smiled Deen while trying to keep his gaze on the ground. Deen has had always something for Rahma. I once tried to talk about it with him but he changed the topic. I do think that they would look cute together, but my brother is not man enough yet to face this reality. I chuckled at my own thoughts. The car ride was quiet as we all were very tired.

Right before going to bed, I sat at my window. My thoughts wandered back to the past. I am slowly forgetting little details of his face, but it doesn't make me forget about him. It was always at such moments that he came back rushing to my thoughts. At this point, I don't know if it is still a silly crush or an obsession. You would think that I experienced a teenage love story if you heard me thinking like that. But in reality, I don't even know the guy besides that our eyes locked some times and that he is a year older than me. I don't know what attracted me to him -and still does-. Was it his calm nature or his dark eyes? The way our eyes locked or that we never got to know each other? I don't know. I just know that nothing makes me forget about him. Sometimes I wonder if I would recognize him if I ever see him again. He is like a mystery that I would love to solve. Especially after so many years of thinking about him. I tried so hard to forget about him. I made lots of dua and yes even on Laylatul qard, but here I am, still thinking about him. I can't make out if it's a good thing or a bad thing. Am I attached to the idea of 'him' or is it just my mind tricking me in believing that he's the one even though I don't know him?