my public journal

‼️up date‼️

2/6/24

hi lmaoo

guys i have not talked on here in literal MONTHS. the last time i wrote in this journal was in november...

anywaysss i have A LOT to talk about idk where to even start.

i think i'll just give you guys a short story and not go into too much detail. but also i want to go into detail because then it's more interesting 😝

okay so i'll just come out and say it cause you guys are probably wondering about tylerrrr.

but if you aren't wondering about him then ur lame

anyways soooo me and him aren't talking anymore 😔

here's the story
(it's long cause details yk)

so i ended up telling him that i liked him which was so stupid on my part 🤦🏼‍♀️. (omfg i will screenshot me confessing to him and past it in here) i regret it so much now because now i've been thinking like maybe me and him would have gotten somewhere if i just stfu and continued talking to him like normal. whatever i'm so fucking mad at myself. okay so the last time me and him talked on insta was on november 15th. so after i told him that i liked him he didn't talk to me for two weeks guys. and i was thinking like "we're definitely done like there's no saving us anymore, like this is over" that's what i was thinking cause like he hasn't talked to me in two weeks. well, one random day after school me and my friend P (i'm just going to call her P cause her name starts with a P lol) walked out of the school and stood in this grassy patch in front of our school. i was standing there with her cause she was waiting for her bus. then she looks over at me and says "he's walking this way." and i was confused asf cause i wasn't really thinking about tyler. so i was like "who?" and she nods her head in his direction. so i look over my shoulder and he's walking in the sidewalk going to his bus. okay so then i look away and just face down. now here's the part that gets me and i remember this soooo well. so there was this group of girls standing in the middle of the side walk. the only way to get around was to walk close by where the buses were parked by the sidewalk, or squeeze through this tiny gap between me and the group of girls. tyler could have went either way, but he chose to squeeze in between me and the group and he was so close to touching me with his shoulder. so this is the good part and where my jaw was on the floor. so as he's walking past me and my friend, this man slows way down (this is important to note because if u guys remember me tell u that tyler is an extremely fast walker and just wants to get to his bus) and he turns all the way around, stops and says hi. this man said hi to me after not talking for TWO WEEKS. idk if i'm reading the signs wrong but when he stopped i truly felt like he wanted me to walk with him, as if he was waiting for me to ditch my friend and go with him like thats what i believe. also the fact that he said hi to me first was crazy because as u guys know, tyler is very introverted and is extremely socially awkward, so i knew it took a lot for him just to say that. also as i'm writing this and looking back on this moment i'm such an idiot because like i was so shocked that he talked to me that i literally froze and just said hi back. if i wasn't so shocked and nervous i could have walked with him and started talking to him but no. i stood there looking like a fool after i said hi back and he turned around after starring into my eyes for a few seconds and left.  GUYS IM SO STUPID AND MAD AT MYSELF. but anyways we haven't really had any crazy interactions with each other. which then brings me into the the next thing i wanna talk about. also there's more stuff i have to say about tyler but it's not that juicy, i mean kinda.

heres me confessing to who was supposed to be my future husband 😔