Loving HIM Unconditionally

No Regrets of the Kiss

Devendra's pov -

I kissed her. I FREAKING KISSED HER!!!

Damn it!!

I don't know what the heck I was doing. My emotions never really take control of me, I always keep my emotions in check. But today, I don't know how it happened.

Honestly, whenever it comes to Devyani, it always gets tough for me to control my emotions.

And today, exactly what I always feared happened.

But no matter how much my mind tries to deny it, somewhere deep down, my heart knew that I don't regret it. I don't regret kissing her. In fact, I liked it.

The moment she mentioned Diya's name, I felt a surge of anger rising within me thinking how dare she pry into my past? How dare she try to unearth the memories I buried deep within?

And I lashed out at her, pushing her away.

But beneath the layers of my anger, there was fear. Fear that she might have uncovered the truth, that she might discover the secrets buried in my heart.

And I couldn't bear the thought of her knowing the darkest corners of my life.

As she cried before me, her tears falling like silent raindrops, my heart clenched in pain.

The sight of her vulnerability, of her anguish, shattered the walls I had built around myself. I wanted to wipe away her tears, to erase the hurt etched on her face.

Yet, I refused to let my emotions overpower me. I remained silent, standing there, attentively listening to whatever she had to say.

But then, her next words, "Me apni mohabbat ke liye intezaar karne, aur uske liye ladne ke liye tayyar thi, Dev, par jab mujhe pata chala ki vo mohabbat meri hai hi nahi, aur shayad na kabhi mera hogi. To aap khud hi bataye, mein kya karti?" cut through the silence like a knife, piercing my heart with their raw honesty.

(I was ready to wait for my love and fight for it, Dev, but when I discovered that the love wasn't mine, and perhaps never would be, you tell me, what was I supposed to do)?

And in that moment, I realized the depth of her pain. She thinks that I was in love with Diya.

Her words echoed in my mind. Did she believe that I was still entangled in the web of my past? The realization hit me like a tidal wave, drowning me in guilt and remorse.

"Tell me Dev, me asa kya karu ki aap mujh par bharosa kar sake, btaiye mujhe. Kyonki ye roz roz ki asi zindagi me nahi jee sakti. Btaiye mujhe me asa kya karu?" She says again, her voice breaking as she fell on the floor in tears.

(Tell me, Dev, what must I do to earn your trust? How can I prove to you that I'm here for you? Because living day in and day out in this constant uncertainty is unbearable. Tell me, what should I do)?

And that was the moment when my emotions overwhelmed me, and all the walls I had built around myself crumbled.

A realization struck me that she was suffering because of me. Whatever happened in the past with me, what was her fault in it? Her only mistake is that she fell in love with me, a person like me.

She has told me that she didn't expect anything from me; her love alone would be enough for both of us. She just wants respect and honesty in this relationship, and even that I am failing to give her.

That's when I realized how much she must have loved me, because she is putting lots of efforts every day to save our relationship.

In that moment of vulnerability, I found myself reaching for her, pulling her into my arms.