Why do you hate me so fucking much? Why? What did I do? Love you? Care about you? Try and make you feel better when you were unhappy? I was one of your first friends here and now you don't even look at me. I know I fucked things up for a bit there, my feelings always fuck things up, but now it's you. You left me, you left us, what the fuck happened to you. You let everything go to your head you let it convince you that you were different, better, from us.
But you're not truly gone. And that's what I hate most.
I've seen those parts of you, the parts I remember and the parts that I loved, they're still there. The day I told you my mom was gone I thought you'd come back. I really did. You talked to me and walked with me and even waited for me at my locker, just like old times. I thought you came back. I thought you could be part of my life again. But you left just as quickly as before and soon you stopped talking to me and then you stopped looking at me altogether.
And I wish you'd never shown me that you could be the person you used to be, I wished I'd never told you and that we never talked and that you never told me to wait for you on the way to lunch, even though you told me it was for the express purpose of making me late. If none of those things had happened I probably wouldn't miss you so much.
I want you to come back and be my friend again, I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss you bugging me everyday, I miss you scaring me in the hallway. I just miss who we were together. I told you things I've never told anyone before, and I know you've done the same to me.
So, why can't we? Why can't or won't you come back? Not just to me, but to all of us? To Siairra and Apryl and... Why won't you come back?
Was it my fault? If I knew it was, I would do anything to fix it.
Just...come back.
I miss you.
