Escape | Updated Weekly

10

A couple of months went by since me and Mac had our time at the beach. I had barely seen any of the boys, they were so busy at the moment with rehearsals and getting gigs booked in at local venues and I had a big project to work on. Thankfully whatever feeling I was having for Mac that day had gone away, he would occasionally come to my room at the end of the day and we'd have long chats about whatever was getting us down. Whether that be uni work, family or just general down in the dumps days.

These heart to heart evenings meant I learned so much about him. Like that his parents aren't divorced yet, but it was going ahead. The reason they even broke up was because his Dad cheated, Mac couldn't stand him. However his brother, who I know knew was called Luke, still had a lot of contact. 

He wasn't the only one to be opening up. I'd told him about my issues with my mother. How the two of us never really saw eye to eye either and it was better for me to leave for uni then to stay. I also explained how it was the one thing Tom never really understood about me. His parents were loving, understanding. He'd always tell me to just 'talk' to Mum and she'd come through. But I always knew that wouldn't work. Sometimes it's not as simple as just talking to some people to get them to understand. And Mac got that. Which was a first for me. Most people I come across never got why I couldn't possibly just get on with my mum. They'd just feed me bull shit like 'You only get the one' and I wasn't stupid. I knew that. It was just complicated.

Surprisingly despite mine and Mac's slightly rocky start we'd formed a pretty good friendship together. It wasn't awkward or tense. It was comforting for both of us. Or at least I assumed it was for the both of us. Things others would never get about us, we could tell to one another.

Mac even had me helping him write some of their songs for the band. "I'm not a songwriter," I'd said. He laid down on her bed "You're a writer. You gotta experiment with all types. It's good practice for you". I rolled my eyes at him. "Just tell me the first thing that comes to mind. I promise to give you recognition if we use any of it". He sat back up and grabbed his guitar. He started playing a few keys and sang the first few lines that he had.'

'I remind myself 

who I used to be...'

I sung back

'Only to make

a better version of me'

''See?" he said, still playing a tune on the guitar. "It's not that bad''. He started playing a new tune and sang one of his songs to me. It wasn't like anything the band had played before. By now I pretty much knew the band's songs inside and out with all the rehearsals and gigs I'd been to. The music was soft and slow. The lyrics describe a person who wished life could be just a little bit easier. It made me realise how nice his voice really was. Obviously I heard him sing plenty of times. But never liked this. It was like seeing a whole different side to him.

Mac finished the song and set his guitar down. "That was beautiful, '' I said. He shrugged. "Just something random I wrote ages ago" he laughed nervously. "You're really not what I expected" I observed. God knows why it took me this long to figure it out. But it was true. On first impression I thought he was just a 'kept to himself' type. Mac's brows creased. Not knowing if he should take that as a compliment or not. "I just mean. I thought you were going to be this moody, annoying character that I wouldn't get along with. But you're the opposite. It's a good thing."

Mac laid back down. "I used to be different". I laid down next to him at the other end of the bed so that we topped and tailed each other. He continued. "You definitely wouldn't have liked me if you knew me a few years ago. '' I shuffled a little. I wasn't sure if I would have liked any other version of Mac. Much less a version where he really was a dick. "I would drink, hang out with the wrong crowd, get into so many fights" he continued. "What changed?" I asked. For someone who seems to have to do everything alone, I thought it was impressive that he came out the other side of it all.

"Music"

"Really?" 

"Yeah. Just picked up a guitar one day and thought it was fun to mess around on. So I taught myself how to play" He sat up resting on his elbows so he just about met my eyes. "So my Mum said if I stayed on the good path she'd send me to music camp. And I did. So I went. That's where I met the others." I wondered if Tom or the others knew about that part. That they were the reason that Mac stayed on this good path. The reason he didn't relapse to being the old him. I was glad that he found something he thought was worth fighting the urge for. "Now I just try to make sure that my family stays good as well," he admitted. "It can't all be down to you Mac" I replied quietly. It was harsh but it was the truth. Mac was finally finding a way in life. A way that could take him places. But he was never gonna go anywhere if he was always worrying about his family. Mac moved to lay next to me. "I can't just leave them in the ditch whilst I live my best life". He put a hand behind his head for extra support. "What kind of dick would that make me?". Maybe it was because I wasn't close with my family, But I didn't see an issue with it. Sometimes it's the only way people learn to look after themselves. It's how I learnt. But I didn't say that to Mac. I knew he cared too much for his siblings and Mother to feel the same way.