Escape | Updated Weekly

28

I shoved my bags into my car,filled with dread. I still hadn't heard from Mac. I know he said to give him until after summer, but a small part of me had still been expecting a message from him. 

I went back inside to say goodbye to Sarah and Paul, she gave me a whole bag full of food as if she thought I wouldn't eat once I got back to uni. I was going to miss them but I was so excited to start the second year of uni. 

"Come on Eve, let's see who gets back first" Tom said, grabbing his car keys. I rolled my eyes at him and followed him out of the door. Chloe was already in his car, waiting for him. "Don't drive dangerously" called Sarah, rushing outside to catch up with Tom. He spun back around and gave her a hug. "Never do" he replied. Then we set out on the road back to uni. 

I pulled up to the house and it had felt like we had never even left. As I parked in the car park I saw Mac's car was already here. Tom came in just after me. I grabbed my bags from the boot and gave him a smug smile. "Looks like I won" I said and rushed to the house. 

It was quiet in the house, like no one was here. I checked down stairs for Mac first before going to his bedroom. I heard Tom and Chloe come through the door as I made it to the to of the stairs. I opened Mac's door, but he wasn't there. 

In fact. Nothing was there. All of his belongings had gone, the wardrobe doors had been left open and all the clothes taken out. I knew he hadn't left it this way when we went on summer leave so he must have done this when he'd come back after. I wandered around the room as if that was going to give me any more clues. His bed was made but even the sheets had been stripped off it. He wouldn't have just left without saying anything. 

Right?

I took my bags upstairs to me own room, as I reached the top a figure sat on my bed made me jump. "Jesus" I said. I dropped my bag and clung to my chest as my  heart tried to recover.

Mac was sat on my bed, his head was bowed down  just looking at the floor. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked. As I walked closer to him I saw he had a duffel bag on the bed beside him. He finally looked up me, he looked as if he'd been crying. My heart beat faster but for different reasons.

"Mac?" I knelt down in front of him so our faces were level, placing my hands on his knees. He stared down at them as he spoke. 

"Look.. er. This isn't gonna be easy so I'm just gonna say it" I continued to look at, trying to make his eye, but he kept avoiding me. 

"Whats not easy to say?"

He pulled his hands away. "I've changed my mind. About us."

Silence.

What?

I shook my head. "Do you mean... like. Telling people or-"

"No. I mean in general"

This is not what I was expecting from him. What did he mean he's changed his mind? Three weeks ago he told me he loved me. Words he was too scared to use before. Now he's saying he's changed his mind? Just like that.

"That makes no sense Mac" I stood up. He continued to look down at the floor. "It's just how I feel". I turned around, trying to process what was going on. I felt so angry.

"There's something else going on here. There's no way you've just changed your mind"

"Well I have"

"Bullshit"

He looked up. His eyes looked watery, trying to hold back tears. I had never seen him like this before. Something happened. Why couldn't he tell me.

"Just talk to me Mac"

"No. There's nothing to talk about. It was fun... but it's done now"

He stood up and reached into his bag, pulling out a bunch of paper that had been bound together. He handed it to me. Confused I took it and read the first page.

'Wild. By Eve Caddel'

It was my book that I had written about us and had presented for the publisher's event. How did he even get this.

"I stole it before summer" he said as if he was reading my mind.

"I really wanted to read it. That's how my mum got hold of it and why she showed up that day"

So technically it was because of him that she offered me that project. This still made no sense to me though. What did this have to do with anything. 

"It's really good Eve, you should do something with it"

He started to walk away. I couldn't just let him leave, but I had no power to stop him. Now my eyes welled up with tears. I turned watching him get closer to the stairs with no idea on what to say to make him stop. 

He stopped at the top, turning back to me. He looked like there was something that he was holding back on saying, but he just couldn't get the words out. Then he went down stairs, once again leaving me on my own. Stupidly holding our entire story of how we fell in love in my hands, like it was one last parting gift. Like he was well and truly Turing his back on everything we had together. 

I threw the book in anger and the sat on the bed, where he had just sat before he broke me. I sobbed to myself, feeling hopeless and confused, all at the same time. 

Tom came up to my room some time later. I was laying down now and I'd managed to stop crying, just about anyways. He gingerly laid down next to me. He didn't say anything for a while, and I didn't have the energy to talk. I couldn't even say how long we sat there like that. Eventually Tom broke the silence. "It'll get better" he whispered. "I know it feels like it won't but... I'm sorry he did this". I perked my head up. 

How did he know?

I creased my brows, giving him a narrow stare. "Did Chloe tell you?" I asked. It would have been the only way he could have known, but he shook his head.

 "No. I figured it out. Chloe just confirmed it and then filled in the gaps"

"How did you figure it out?" 

We had been very careful to keep it a secret, for this specific reason of it possibly not working out. I just thought that if it wouldn't worked, it would have been before I fell in love with him.

"It was hard not to notice. The way he'd look at you, the songs he wrote... I could just tell"

"Oh"

"Did you love him?"

"Yeah"

"Why didn't you tell me"

"I didn't want to get in the way of the band"

Tom wrapped me up in a hug as more tears streamed down my face. I had messed up everything and got myself hurt in the process, and it was all for nothing. Mac was gone, Tom had known all along. This last year suddenly seemed like an entire waste. 

"Don't ever think the band will come before you Eve. You're my best friend. You always come first"

I continued to cry into Tom's arms, wishing I had told him from the start. Maybe he could have warned me better, maybe he could have stopped me from making this mistake. It didn't matter though. He was here now, and right now. He was all I needed.