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HONORA HATED IT. She hated that she missed him. His touch, his voice, his meaning. How she didn't feel complete when he was gone. How her heart only started to beat faster when he was around. How she was becoming undeniably attached. Maybe she already was.
She smiled at the woman she passed as she walked along one of the many dirt roads of the colony, nodding at her kindly. The stranger beamed, her cheeks coating over. She looked down at her stained apron and torn skirt and the dirt that clung to her fingernails. Did that Sparrow girl, the woman who practically lived like royalty, really just acknowledge an unkempt worker like herself? She glanced back up with shining eyes. The woman was gone.
Honora-Rue tugged at her bottom lip with her teeth, her thoughts a wild mess away from the world she was walking upon. She struggled to raise her head from the ground. This cannot be happening, she thought. It couldn't be. She had promised herself as a young child that she would never succumb to the hopes of her father that she would one day marry a man and sign her life away. She wouldn't. She couldn't marry a man. She couldn't fall in love with a man. She couldn't even like a man. What if it was too late?
She wanted to walk over to a brick wall and slam her head against it. She hoped her nose would break again, because then she would have to rush back to the hospital and get her injury checked by him. Him. No. No. She couldn't think like that. She had to run away. No. She had to stay, because really, could she live without him now? After seeing how he made her feel, think, and admire. She couldn't leave. Not now. Not ever.
She walked around another wall, fighting the urge to run towards it without looking back. She mindlessly smiled at another stranger, this time a young boy who was tossing rocks into the air before catching them. He smiled back at her, waving. She whispered a hello.
