The Reckoning - Book Two

Chapter Four - Daella

The world shifts around me and the sound of screaming fills my ears until I realise the screaming is my own as the nightmare fades. Lyari and Saena rush into the room, eyes wide and expression distraught as Quirin follows closely behind.

They help me out of bed, my night gown is soaked in sweat and my body shakes and trembles as I stand.

"Get her cleaned up, I will wait here." Quirin instructs the servants as he takes a seat near the fireplace.

They wipe me down as I stand shivering and too scared to close my eyes for too long. I can almost feel the fingertips of my nightmare touching my skin, their pale familiar hands reaching out to me.

Once I am dressed they lead me back to my bedroom and Quirin stands close to the fireplace where he has built up the fire, bright and bold it fills the room with light.

"Would you like a sleeping draft to help you go back to sleep?" He asks gently and I shake my head immediately, stepping away from him. I couldn't go back to sleep, couldn't go back to the darkness.

"Alright, I will stay with you until the sun rises. Lyari, Saena, you should both get back to your beds." He says dismissing them.

They both nod, looking at me with concern before leaving. I flinch at the sound of the door closing behind them.

"Perhaps you should sit close to the fire Daella." Quirin says touching my shoulder to get my attention. I flinch again at his touch, the contact sudden and jarring.

He sets me down on the arm chair by the fire place before sitting in the one opposite it.

"Maybe you can tell me about the nightmares, what happened?" He asks leaning forward slightly as I stare at the bright orange flames dancing and weaving in the fireplace.

I shake my head. I didn't want to talk about them, didn't want to think about them, didn't want to voice them and make them even more real than they already felt.

"Very well." He says easing back into his chair.

He sits with me in silence, the only sound is the crackle and snap from the fire as it keeps the darkness back, until the sun starts to rise then he stands with a heavy sigh and I look up at him.

"I will leave you for now and return for our usual morning visit." He says quietly and I turn back to the fire.

I didn't want him to leave.

I didn't want to be left alone.

***

Hands grip my shoulders pinning me in place and I hear someone calling my name from far away and I am drowning, my screams are trapped under water. Everything is dark around me and I struggle to get my head above the water and take a breath.

Then I hear it again, calling me, it becomes clearer, I know that voice, the soft lilting accent.

I wake to find Saena gripping my shoulders with Lyari beside her.

"Is she awake?" Quirin asks stepping up behind them.

They look at me, waiting for me to answer.

"I think so." Lyari answers before moving away to make room for Quirin, his eyes closed and hand over me.

Darkness swims around me, shadows dancing around the room. I can't stop my body from trembling, both burning hot and freezing cold at the same time.

I can feel my hair sticking to my neck and sweat drips down my forehead.

A familiar sigh as Quirin opens his eyes.

"Ladies, if you will clean her and dress her please." He says stepping out of the way.

Each step is shaky and unsure as the floor seems to shift and move beneath my feet like I am treading water and I watch each step, terrified I will slip and fall beneath the waves again.

Quirin is waiting when I enter the bedroom dressed in a new nightgown and standing on my own two feet.

He smiles at me and gestures to the arm chair by the fireplace.

I am drawn to the bright flames and I sit, staring into their depths.

"Daella, I am concerned about the effect these nightmares are having on your physical well-being." Quirin says and even though I can hear him and I am listening I don't turn to him, just continue staring into the flames as they continue to keep back the shadows and darkness.

"You have lost weight too quickly, your skin is pallid, your eyes are dull, you are suffering from severe sleep deprivation." He continues, his voice concerned as he leans towards me, elbows resting on his knees. Still I don't turn towards him. I just stare at the flames.

"I fear the longer these nightmares continue the less of you there will be that remains." I can hear the fear in his voice and I blink, once, twice.

"I think what you need is a distraction, something you can do during the day that will help pull you out of the darkness and bring in more light, something that will give you a greater purpose." Now I can hear hope, like a bright spark in a world of darkness it shines in his words.

But it won't take hold in me.

There is too much darkness.

We sit in silence again, listening to the flames devour the wood it feeds upon. He leaves as the sun rises again and I am left alone.

***

They are watching me, waiting for me to give in, waiting for me to give up.

I am so tired. Tired of seeing them. Tired of always fighting, always struggling.

I just want them to leave me alone.

"Daella! You need to wake up!" A familiar voice calls out from behind the Princes and I search for it, desperate for a way out.

"Daella, listen to my voice." There it is again, warm and familiar, it is getting closer.

"Daella," I blink, staring into Quirin's eyes as he stands in front of me with his hands raised in front of him in supplication.

Behind him stand Lyari and Saena with terrified expressions as they watch me.

I feel something in my hands and look down to find a golden candlestick gripped tightly in my hands like I had been using it as a weapon. I drop it suddenly and it clatters to the ground, I stare at my hands, finding imprints on my palms from the candlestick.

I stare up at Quirin and I see the moment Quirin knows I am awake, the relief is palpable.

My servants move without him needing to say a word and take either side of my arms. My body goes slack and muscles turn weak as reality settles over me and I start to shake.

I could still see them, standing in front of me.

They were right there.

If I reached out I could have touched them.

How much longer can I continue to live in both worlds?

One a torturous fantasy designed to terrify me, the other a lonely reality that does nothing but remind me of my isolation.

How much longer would my body hold out before, like Quirin had said, nothing remains?

Perhaps one of these nights he will walk in and find an empty husk. A husk that wears my skin and has my name but will have forgotten everything else because it spent too much time in the terrifying fantasy and when it woke the reality wasn't strong enough to keep it there.