The Reckoning - Book Two

Chapter Thirty Two - Daella

As I sit down on the sofa in tea room I can't help the wince that escapes my lips, courtesy of my most recent corrections. This time there had been no question, no misstep, no reason, Mistress had just taken it upon herself to strike me, to fill whatever cruel desire she had churning in her dark mind.

"Daella," Roux's quiet voice startles me as she takes the seat next to me.

"Morning Roux," I reply with a small forced smile while reminding myself to sit a little straighter.

"Are you alright?" She asks, the look of concern holding her expression in a familiar position.

"Fine." I answer with another forced smile and gentle nod.

"Mistress, she really doesn't seem to like you." She smiles awkwardly, hands resting on her lap delicately.

"I've noticed." Another gentle nod. What more could I say? I surely couldn't tell her the truth. I couldn't explain to her the fear and pain and loneliness I had experienced in that cell for three days. I couldn't tell her about the threat that hangs over me every minute of every day, that one moment of weakness, one slipup and I will disappear.

Quiet conversation hovers around the room as we sit in silence. I listen to the soft voices as I take hold of the delicate handle of my tea cup and take a sip.

"Is it true that you are going to marry the King?" She asks and I nearly spit out my tea as I turn to her eyes wide.

"No, where did you hear that?" I whisper while searching around the room for prying eyes.

"The others." She whispers, eyes hinting at the chosen around the room. "We all know you eat every meal with him, that you spend hours with him every afternoon. Why else would he do that if, well, unless he intends to marry you?" She explains.

"I do eat every meal with him, and I spend a couple of hours with him in the afternoon but I am not marrying him, I don't even like him. He is rude and arrogant and conceited and stubborn!" The words rush out at the very idea that he and I could ever be like that.

She sits back at the sudden stream of curses, looking around with worried eyes.

"So it's not true then?" She asks, looking stunned and confused.

"No!" I snap, catching the attention of the other chosen. She smiles, smoothing down her skirt and we sit in silence again until the room returns to its quiet conversation.

"What about the Princes?" She asks, sitting forward again.

I sigh softly. "What about them?"

"Well, before they left, they spent a lot of time with you. And since they have left you've been, not well." She says, struggling to find the right words.

I stare at the tea cup on my plate, following the delicate design of painted flowers and leaves. I had restricted myself to only thinking of them when I was alone, it was too hard otherwise, there was too much at risk if an errant thought just unravelled every part of my emotional wall and everything came tumbling out and I was unable to keep myself from having another outburst.

"I can't speak about it." I tell her in honesty.

"Oh." We sit in another long silence. My eyes follow the painted pattern on the tea cup again, following the vine of green to each delicately painted leaf until it reaches a small pink flower. I found it easier to keep everything at bay when I distracted myself with something ornate. I could see the way each petal of each flower has been painted with not just one shade of pink but many, from the centre to the end of each petal the colour blends and changes.

"Well, I just wanted to say," Roux begins, shattering my concentration on the tiny pink flowers. "That if you ever need someone to talk to, or just sit with, that I am here. I know the other girls like to talk, not all of them, but, it's easy to be drawn into it. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to forget who I am, who I was before I came here. You know?" She asks looking at me, the false smile gone and her warm brown eyes bright and earnest reminding me of the first moment we met, before this place had changed everything.

I nod slowly. "I know what you mean."

She smiles, her shoulders relaxing. "I thought it would be better, easier, to just accept everything and be this new person. It was so easy to be swept up into all of the elegance and beauty and excitement, to forget about where I had come from. But, now, I miss the old me. I miss my home, I miss my annoying little brothers, I miss the smell of my mother's freshly baked bread and our small farm house." She smiles sadly at her lap, eyes glassy and distant. She looks up at me. "But you, you never let this place change you, you've always been yourself, even if it meant having the Mistress beat you with that cursed stick."

"It isn't easy, sometimes I think it would be smarter to just accept what is." I tell her honestly.

"No, I know, I have been thinking the same thing myself." She smiles to herself.

"I don't have any answers or advice if that's what you're looking for. Maybe you should try talking to Fynley, she seems to have a better grasp of everything than I ever will." I offer honestly, I don't think I could help anyone at this point in my life. I could barely keep myself together let alone take on the thoughts and feelings of another person. I would be more likely to lead their lives to ruin before I helped them.

"I think..." She stops, looking at the other girls warily and leaning closer, lowering her voice to just a whisper. "I think, if given the choice, more of us would be like you, we're just...scared."

I look around the room, looking at each of the chosen as they sit sipping their tea in their beautiful gowns, with gold and jewels around their necks and faces poised in perfect smiles.

Was there something hiding under all the perfection and glamour? How many of these women actually wanted to be here? How many are waiting for the selection to take place and how many are relieved to have it postponed?

"Maybe you should attend one of the music lessons we have together in the afternoon, it's just us girls." She smiles at me, her hand resting on my wrist gently while her eyes stare into mine willing me to see more from her invitation.

"I will." I nod and smile not knowing what exactly I was agreeing to but feeling like it was much more important than just the chance to listen to music.