The Reckoning - Book Two

Chapter Twenty Three - Alvaryn

I place my rolled maps into my satchel, the tent half empty as we get ready to move camp again. Another battle won meant another move, closer towards Nievenyth.

"Excuse me General," A young male steps into the tent holding letters in his hands. "These have just arrived." He says holding them out towards me, his uniform, like all of ours worn and rumpled and wild brown hair pushed behind his ears.

"Thank you Luc." I nod, taking the letters from him.

As soon as he leaves I search through the letters until I find her neat script.

I sit down, setting the other letters on the table and smile to myself.

My Alvaryn,

Thank you for your letter, I have read it so many times I know it word for word. I'm so happy and relieved to hear from you and know that you are safe and well. I won't lie and tell you that I don't worry about you and Aeris. It is a constant thought in the back of my mind. Reading your words and knowing that you are safe is what gets me through each day and night and while I do my best to wait patiently for your return, you know patience is not my strong suit.

Life here carries on without you, a little quieter, a little duller, sometimes I wish there would be more signs that you are not here, more changes, and other times I am glad there is not. I don't need anyone or anything reminding me you are not here when I feel it so clearly with every beat of my heart.

I miss you Alvaryn, I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, I miss the grey of your eyes as they stare into mine like liquid silver. I miss having you here with me and look forward to the day you come back to me. I know you will do everything you can to make sure that day is soon and I won't be left waiting for much longer.

I love you Alvaryn, so so much.

Always,

Dae

I hold the letter in my hands, my eyes scanning over each word, each curve of each letter. I wonder where she was when she wrote it. Wonder if it was late at night or first thing in the morning. Did she truly read my letter as many times as I read hers?

Someone walks into the tent and I look up to find Aeris studying me.

"Is that from Daella?" He asks, nodding at the letter in my hands.

"Yes, there is one for you as well." I answer, leaning forward to sift through the letters to find his before holding it out towards him.

He takes it, looking down at it. "Is she well?" He asks quietly.

I look up at him confused as he continues to hold onto the letter without opening it.

"She seems well enough." I answer, wanting to read through the letter again.

"Is she angry with me?" He asks.

"She doesn't say." I answer. She hadn't mentioned anything about him not writing to her and it made me wonder what the letter he held said in it. "Why aren't you reading your letter?"

He just stares at it, thumbs smoothing over the parchment.

"I'm not sure...I'm not sure I deserve to, unless she is angry with me and just writes about that." He answers, dark eyes staring blankly.

"What do you mean?" I ask turning towards him. "Why don't you deserve a letter from Dae?"

He steps further into the tent, collapsing into the seat in front of mine.

"I don't want to lie to her, but I can't tell her the truth either. If I read this letter and then again I can't write one in return, it will only make everything worse." He says, expression exhausted and vacant.

"Then don't lie to her, you don't have to tell her everything but you need to tell her something, you can't just ignore her." I tell him, setting my letter aside and leaning towards him.

"I know, I know. I don't want to. Just," He lets out a frustrated sigh as he hangs his head back and stares up at the tent ceiling. "No matter what I do I feel like I am going to hurt her and I don't want to do that. It is all I seem capable of at the moment." He growls, dropping his head and staring down at his hands, expression darkening.

"It isn't all you are capable of Aeris. You are killing our enemies, but you are also showing mercy to those that surrender. You are doing what you must so that we can put an end to Callin and Arden and their tyranny. We can't let them get away with murdering our parents, or attacking Dae. We need to be here, we need to do this. And when it is all done then we can go home where Dae is waiting for us." I tell him, trying to remind him of why we are here, of why we need to do the things that are troubling him so much.

It is agonizing, watching the pain fill his expression as he just accepts his role, shouldering the burden we both share.

"I know. I do not doubt our reason for being here or what we need to do." He tells me, still staring at his hands and the letter he holds in them.

"Then what is it? What is stopping you from reading that letter and enjoying a moment of time in this hell hole?" I ask, needing to know what is going on through his mind because I feel like I am losing my brother right now and I can't let that happen.

"Nothing." He says finally, standing from the chair.

"Don't do that Aeris, don't lie to me, you know better." I say standing with him, feeling the grating claw in my mind.

He looks me in the eyes, dark eyes tortured and suffering, mouth straight.

"You're right, I do know better." He says with a nod, and then he turns and walks out of the tent.

I move to go after him, to demand an answer, to demand that he tells me the truth. But I don't.

Maybe he just needs time, a break from bloodshed. We will be travelling for a day, maybe a reprieve will give him the time he needs to get a hold of what he is struggling with.

I look down at the letter from Dae, I just hope he reads the letter she gave him and it helps.